You have, no doubt, discovered some distressing personalities posting in this thread, probably without any background with which to determine the personality disorder involved. I posted some excerpts from a professional clinical psychologist to assist you in understanding and dealing with the narcissist. I am sure that anyone who has read the excerpts has identified the corresponding traits that some have displayed in this thread.
Here are the excerpts gathered into a single post for your continued reference. Be alert for these warped personalities that have exactly 1 goal: To maintain their sanity by keeping a self-view that posits that they are superior to EVERYONE around them, using ANY means necessary to accomplish this.
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Narcissists have problems with self-image. Experts agree that narcissists hide, both from themselves and others, the many shortcomings in their self-image.
A narcissist has an underlying sense of inferiority. Typically, he overcompensate for this by an outward display of calculated manipulativeness. This display of manipulation can quite easily fool many of those around him, seducing them into believing whatever the narcissist says, much like the Pied Piper used his sweet tunes to lure rats and children.
When the narcissist has been accused of some undesirable behavior, his need to feel superior to all others typically results in a fierce "counter-attack" on the accuser. projecting that very behavior back to the accuser in a usually successful attempt at shifting the focus onto the accuser and painting him as the offender. Even a simple benign suggestion can provoke the narcissist into a caustic assault, simply because in his distorted perspective, he believes that the person offering the suggestion is actually sending criticism about a task performed poorly.
The narcissist's relationship with his supporters (victims) is governed by self-interest. Eventually, the narcissist loses his earlier victims because, over time, the victims finally recognize that they have been duped and used!
Narcissists are always on the lookout for "narcissistic supply". This refers to those people (victims) that have tacitly agreed to serve the narcissist. The narcissist requires these victims in order to have feelings of "I am better than them", thereby providing himself with the illusion of superiority and a masking of his actual internal poor self-image.
It is well established that the narcissist is full of deep, chronic anxieties and insecurities. Why does the narcissist over compensate rather than simply adequately compensate for these anxieties and insecurities? It is the belief that for him to be "OK", he must be more than just "OK" He believes this not only in accord with his self viewpoint, but believes that those around him hold the same belief about him! This explains why the narcissist turns to lying and boasting about things that he almost never has accomplished himself and at best, played a very minor role in assisting someone else.
Why are narcissists given to grandiose bragging? Because it is a conscious ploy to bolster their false, self-flattering identity as well as to keep their multitude of insecurities deeply undercover. The bragging ranges from material possessions ("trophy" possessions), to social popularity, an exciting lifestyle, significant sounding achievements, high-status associations, and other attributes that they have determined to be envy-worthy. The boasting is done in an effort to boost their fragile ego and is often done in a way that instead of providing positive affirmations of their character, it is by tearing others down.
The narcissist's victims are regularly and repeatedly denigrated, sometimes in an overt display but often covertly through subtle psychological manipulations. The victims pay a high price for their unwitting involvement with the narcissist. But this is the cost of accepting, usually unknowingly, a role as subordinate and source of supply to assuage the narcissist's true underlying feelings of inadequacy.
What’s especially disturbing about narcissists is that they are largely without any sort of developed conscience themselves. They rely on the conscience of their victims to get what they want from them. By employing their cunning trickery and deceit, they induce guilt in their unsuspecting victims. They can emotionally bribe their victims to “win favors, concessions, sacrifices, and/or commitments".
When a victim of the narcissist has managed to escape—or even better, gotten rejected—from that narcissistic tangled web, he will begin to examine his time under the narcissist's influence and realize, "What happened to me? I never felt this negative about myself before." This is exactly how the narcissist maintains power over his victims while at the same time, boosts his own sagging ego by maintaining a position of superiority over another.
Professional guidelines have been established to aid mental health professionals in diagnosis of many mental health conditions. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a publication of the American Psychiatric Association, is widely consulted for the criteria occurring in several mental disorders. For narcissistic personality disorder, the manual states that the narcissist is "often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.” This leads to discounting the happiness or prosperity of those around him by overcompensating for the psychic damage that he has received and never healed. This enables him to avoid admitting that anyone has a better life or has done better than he has, which would place him in inferior standing—a blow to his fragile ego.
Denying or disavowing the true state of affairs, his resentment is more or less neutralized, or turned into righteous anger. It works a lot better for him to see the world as unjust than having to concede that he is not superior to or better off than others.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), that lists criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder, states that the narcissist is "often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him." So, his overcompensation for the unhealed psychic wounds from the past take the form of discounting the happiness an/or prosperity of others, thereby burying the possibility of admitting that anyone has it better−or has done better in the past−than he has.
By denying the true state of affairs, his resentment at his failures and true condition of life is, in his mind, essentially either neutralized or turned into righteous anger that he readily releases onto anyone that confronts him with reality. This behavior of seeing the world as unjust works a lot better for him than having to concede that he is not superior to or in any way better than others.
From an existential perspective, it’s tragic that although the narcissist may successfully conceal haunting memories and insecurities through overcompensating defenses, these self-protective mechanisms preclude any chance that he will someday get beyond them. Growth and change require a certain openness to experience and, particularly in intimate relationships, a willingness to allow oneself to be vulnerable. And those whose defenses put them squarely in this personality-disordered category stubbornly refuse to challenge themselves.
Challenging others—one additional way of understanding the interpersonal ramifications of how they cope with reality—carries a price for them that, finally, may be even higher than that paid by those that they have repeatedly victimized.
Here are the excerpts gathered into a single post for your continued reference. Be alert for these warped personalities that have exactly 1 goal: To maintain their sanity by keeping a self-view that posits that they are superior to EVERYONE around them, using ANY means necessary to accomplish this.
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Narcissists have problems with self-image. Experts agree that narcissists hide, both from themselves and others, the many shortcomings in their self-image.
A narcissist has an underlying sense of inferiority. Typically, he overcompensate for this by an outward display of calculated manipulativeness. This display of manipulation can quite easily fool many of those around him, seducing them into believing whatever the narcissist says, much like the Pied Piper used his sweet tunes to lure rats and children.
When the narcissist has been accused of some undesirable behavior, his need to feel superior to all others typically results in a fierce "counter-attack" on the accuser. projecting that very behavior back to the accuser in a usually successful attempt at shifting the focus onto the accuser and painting him as the offender. Even a simple benign suggestion can provoke the narcissist into a caustic assault, simply because in his distorted perspective, he believes that the person offering the suggestion is actually sending criticism about a task performed poorly.
The narcissist's relationship with his supporters (victims) is governed by self-interest. Eventually, the narcissist loses his earlier victims because, over time, the victims finally recognize that they have been duped and used!
Narcissists are always on the lookout for "narcissistic supply". This refers to those people (victims) that have tacitly agreed to serve the narcissist. The narcissist requires these victims in order to have feelings of "I am better than them", thereby providing himself with the illusion of superiority and a masking of his actual internal poor self-image.
It is well established that the narcissist is full of deep, chronic anxieties and insecurities. Why does the narcissist over compensate rather than simply adequately compensate for these anxieties and insecurities? It is the belief that for him to be "OK", he must be more than just "OK" He believes this not only in accord with his self viewpoint, but believes that those around him hold the same belief about him! This explains why the narcissist turns to lying and boasting about things that he almost never has accomplished himself and at best, played a very minor role in assisting someone else.
Why are narcissists given to grandiose bragging? Because it is a conscious ploy to bolster their false, self-flattering identity as well as to keep their multitude of insecurities deeply undercover. The bragging ranges from material possessions ("trophy" possessions), to social popularity, an exciting lifestyle, significant sounding achievements, high-status associations, and other attributes that they have determined to be envy-worthy. The boasting is done in an effort to boost their fragile ego and is often done in a way that instead of providing positive affirmations of their character, it is by tearing others down.
The narcissist's victims are regularly and repeatedly denigrated, sometimes in an overt display but often covertly through subtle psychological manipulations. The victims pay a high price for their unwitting involvement with the narcissist. But this is the cost of accepting, usually unknowingly, a role as subordinate and source of supply to assuage the narcissist's true underlying feelings of inadequacy.
What’s especially disturbing about narcissists is that they are largely without any sort of developed conscience themselves. They rely on the conscience of their victims to get what they want from them. By employing their cunning trickery and deceit, they induce guilt in their unsuspecting victims. They can emotionally bribe their victims to “win favors, concessions, sacrifices, and/or commitments".
When a victim of the narcissist has managed to escape—or even better, gotten rejected—from that narcissistic tangled web, he will begin to examine his time under the narcissist's influence and realize, "What happened to me? I never felt this negative about myself before." This is exactly how the narcissist maintains power over his victims while at the same time, boosts his own sagging ego by maintaining a position of superiority over another.
Professional guidelines have been established to aid mental health professionals in diagnosis of many mental health conditions. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a publication of the American Psychiatric Association, is widely consulted for the criteria occurring in several mental disorders. For narcissistic personality disorder, the manual states that the narcissist is "often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.” This leads to discounting the happiness or prosperity of those around him by overcompensating for the psychic damage that he has received and never healed. This enables him to avoid admitting that anyone has a better life or has done better than he has, which would place him in inferior standing—a blow to his fragile ego.
Denying or disavowing the true state of affairs, his resentment is more or less neutralized, or turned into righteous anger. It works a lot better for him to see the world as unjust than having to concede that he is not superior to or better off than others.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), that lists criteria for diagnosing narcissistic personality disorder, states that the narcissist is "often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him." So, his overcompensation for the unhealed psychic wounds from the past take the form of discounting the happiness an/or prosperity of others, thereby burying the possibility of admitting that anyone has it better−or has done better in the past−than he has.
By denying the true state of affairs, his resentment at his failures and true condition of life is, in his mind, essentially either neutralized or turned into righteous anger that he readily releases onto anyone that confronts him with reality. This behavior of seeing the world as unjust works a lot better for him than having to concede that he is not superior to or in any way better than others.
From an existential perspective, it’s tragic that although the narcissist may successfully conceal haunting memories and insecurities through overcompensating defenses, these self-protective mechanisms preclude any chance that he will someday get beyond them. Growth and change require a certain openness to experience and, particularly in intimate relationships, a willingness to allow oneself to be vulnerable. And those whose defenses put them squarely in this personality-disordered category stubbornly refuse to challenge themselves.
Challenging others—one additional way of understanding the interpersonal ramifications of how they cope with reality—carries a price for them that, finally, may be even higher than that paid by those that they have repeatedly victimized.
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