The Loneliness of the Long Distance Trader | Forex Factory

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The Loneliness of the Long Distance Trader

  • #1
  • First Post: Oct 1, 2018 11:04am Oct 1, 2018 11:04am
I don't know how many people out there ever read the 1950s classic ' The Loneliness of the Long-Distance runner ', by Alan Sillitoe. In fact, the book is a collection of short stories, this story being just one of them. I won't say much about it, but it is s story of isolation, of immense dedication in the face of enormous adversity in a world cut off from normality which no one, sometimes not even oneself, understands. It is well worth a read for us traders, and there is also a 1962 film with the same title.

There is s strong parallel with us traders. The challenge to become consistently profitable is enormous, we are very much alone in our quest, and really, as I'm sure many of us have found out, there is little sympathy or understanding from those around us who see us sitting in front of the computer day after day chasing ( in their eyes ) a dream. It can be a very long, lonely road with few rewards along the way, and the light at the end of the tunnel can at times diminish to an almost imperceptibly faint glow.

I've touched on this theme in my Trader's Academy thread, but thought it worth returning to, because, I know, that there are many traders out there experiencing the loneliness, and at times futility of that we all seek to achieve in this strange underworld of retail trading. Most can't hack it, it is unnatural to lock ourselves away, to be shunned by one's loved ones who see just an never ending process on non-results. It is hard, extremely hard, but it is the price we all must pay if we are to ultimately succeed.

So friends - thoughts please? Share your journey if you have one. Tell me I'm wrong and everything fell into place without too much trouble. If you're suffering right now, or should I say struggling-losses left right and centre and seemingly losing control, then share it with us, DO NOT SUFFER ALONE...because believe me, many of us have been there, and we know and understand, as only fellow traders can, what you are going through.

The floor is yours.....
  • #2
  • Oct 1, 2018 12:11pm Oct 1, 2018 12:11pm
Everything you say is so true.... I well remember Mrs OD saying to me for many years that all the time I spent in front of the charts, I would have been better off stacking shelves in the local supermarket on minimum wage.....

... but when you finally "crack it" it is all worthwhile. Mrs OD now tells me I am just getting "back pay" for all the years I made nothing

Kind regards and very best of luck,

OD

.
  • #3
  • Oct 1, 2018 2:48pm Oct 1, 2018 2:48pm
Quoting Old_Dog
Everything you say is so true.... I well remember Mrs OD saying to me for many years that all the time I spent in front of the charts, I would have been better off stacking shelves in the local supermarket on minimum wage..... ... but when you finally "crack it" it is all worthwhile. Mrs OD now tells me I am just getting "back pay" for all the years I made nothing Kind regards and very best of luck, OD .
This is the toughest one, trying to justify to others what you are trying to achieve...there is no way you can do it UNTIL the money starts to come in, which for some, is already too late.
  • #4
  • Oct 1, 2018 3:06pm Oct 1, 2018 3:06pm
Quoting cat
{quote} This is the toughest one, trying to justify to others what you are trying to achieve...there is no way you can do it UNTIL the money starts to come in, which for some, is already too late.
Why do you have to justify it to anyone? When most people would rather plop down on the couch and play Madden or FortNite or completely veg out and watch Netflix learning a new skill that can end up creating financial freedom requires no justification. In the end, all the people who didn't support your efforts can stand on the front porch with their jaws hitting the ground while you do doughnuts in the front yard with your new lambo. LOL! Revenge is a dish best served cold.

I quit giving a crap what people think about what I do. If they ask me what I do, I tell them. If they roll their eyes or make some stupid comment I simply ask them what time they have to be at work on Monday. Then, when I am done trading for the day, I call them and let them know. Pisses them off royally. LOL!

Sure, trading is pretty much a one person sport but so what. As you get better you will spend less and less time trading and spending more time doing what you want. I keep my trading activities down to about 2-3 hours a day now. My motivation is to hit my profit target and get out as fast as possible.
  • #5
  • Oct 2, 2018 1:16am Oct 2, 2018 1:16am
Quoting magnumfreak
{quote} Why do you have to justify it to anyone?.
You don't of course, but when the inevitable question is asked from nearest and dearest ' how much money did you make today '? and you've been sitting there for hours with F all to show for it, it takes one hell of an understanding partner to walk away happy in acceptance that you know exactly what you are doing. You don't want to have to justify yourself, but whether one likes it or not, unless you have absolutely no one else in the world to worry about except yourself, you will find yourself under pressure to do so.
  • #6
  • Oct 2, 2018 3:11am Oct 2, 2018 3:11am
Agree that no-one needs to justify what they do to anyone BUT if you have a partner with whom you share your life/finances then yes they will want to know what you have done with your time and what money you are bringing to the party.

The very best way to start trading is to have living expenses taken care of by savings or a part-time job and then trade knowing the bills will be paid regardless. Take the pressure off like nothing else.

With regards to loneliness, I would say there is no way I could spend all day in front of the computer without spiralling into depression so now I make sure I have lots of other things going on. e.g. interaction with the community, fulfilling hobbies, outdoor exercise. Now, I probably spend an average of 2 hours a day in front of the screen.

At the end of the day, we all have to find what works for us, but there is no point in any of it unless we are happy and healthy!
  • #7
  • Oct 2, 2018 3:45am Oct 2, 2018 3:45am
Quoting cat
{quote} You don't of course, but when the inevitable question is asked from nearest and dearest ' how much money did you make today '? and you've been sitting there for hours with F all to show for it, it takes one hell of an understanding partner to walk away happy in acceptance that you know exactly what you are doing. You don't want to have to justify yourself, but whether one likes it or not, unless you have absolutely no one else in the world to worry about except yourself, you will find yourself under pressure to do so.
If it isn't your only source of income then what you do with your time is your business so long as it doesn't negatively impact the family. Where people get into trouble is when they are using money that they cannot afford to lose. Then the pressure is really on and as a result most in this situation will fail. Then you have some explaining to do.

If trading is truly your passion then what others think is not important. If you are trading just for the potential money and not because you have a genuine passion for it, you will fail. It is true for trading as it is for any business.

The problem with people is that they listen to and believe in other peoples opinions far too much. I love it when people who have never opened a trade in their life tell me what I am doing won't work. People will resist what they don't understand. Most of the time it is out of fear. They are not scared that you will fail, they are scared that you will succeed and leave them behind and that makes them very uncomfortable.
  • #8
  • Oct 2, 2018 4:24am Oct 2, 2018 4:24am
A great subject and reality indeed .
Thank u for it .
Loneliness is probably the worst enemy of any trader ,, as i believe is the cause of all the bad things traders do ,,, simply because ,,, not many traders can develop the patience and discipline to sit on the side line till they get their trade setups ,, hence jumping into trades they should not be in .
Nice soft Music for me is very important while im sitting in front of the charts as it keeps me companied and relaxes me .
Chers
LOVE YOUR GAME WITH A PASSION ,,,,, WORK WITH A VISION ! ! ! ! !
  • #9
  • Oct 2, 2018 4:32am Oct 2, 2018 4:32am
Quoting magnumfreak
{quote} genuine passion for it, .
Passion, and an unbreakable belief in your ability. One of the biggest problems is that it takes so long to get to the stage where you actually know what you are doing, that you're almost hard-wired to fail. Then is the time to step up to the mark and really attack the markets with the conviction that successful trading requires. Every trade not taken when your system gives the green light to go is a crime against yourself.

Working on one's own, without exposure to the feedback, inspiration, encouragement, motivation and companionship one receives, directly or indirectly, in a normal workplace environment, is the hardest part of all for most traders, which is why supreme discipline, self-belief, and trust in one's system are all vital to success.
  • #10
  • Oct 2, 2018 4:37am Oct 2, 2018 4:37am
Quoting George AUS
A great subject and reality indeed . Thank u for it . Loneliness is probably the worst enemy of any trader ,, as i believe is the cause of all the bad things traders do ,,, simply because ,,, not many traders can develop the patience and discipline to sit on the side line till they get their trade setups ,, hence jumping into trades they should not be in . Nice soft Music for me is very important while im sitting in front of the charts as it keeps me companied and relaxes me . Chers


As long as it doesn't put you to sleep!
  • #11
  • Oct 2, 2018 4:39am Oct 2, 2018 4:39am
Quoting cat
{quote}[/b] As long as it doesn't put you to sleep!
Trade fearless not careless...
Syed Mohsin Ali Profit This Month: -2,370
  • #12
  • Oct 2, 2018 5:27am Oct 2, 2018 5:27am
I think that in the modern age forums help greatly with this issue. Take Forexfactory, for example, there are so many like-minded traders here sharing common interests.
  • #13
  • Oct 2, 2018 8:08am Oct 2, 2018 8:08am
Quoting dianajs
I think that in the modern age forums help greatly with this issue. Take Forexfactory, for example, there are so many like-minded traders here sharing common interests.
Forex Factory is one of the best forums on the internet in terms of software/interface. This is the reason why it so successful!
You can find at least a few hundred other Forex forums on the internet, but only One with so many active users and readers.

On the topic of loneliness,.....you just have to deal with it. No one can help you.
This is the nature of business. There are always trade offs and sacrifices.
Trading gives you a lot of independence. It's perfect for introverts and tech nerds. But if you want to be around other people all the time, then trading is not for you.
  • #14
  • Oct 2, 2018 8:24am Oct 2, 2018 8:24am
I have never felt loneliness, as long as i spent most of my time with this forum, i have spent more time reading posts than watching charts or actual trading.
I am working full time as a Head chef in a hotel , many ups and downs still learning the craft but never gave up once as i always found something to learn from here.
on a postive roll...
  • #15
  • Oct 2, 2018 8:38am Oct 2, 2018 8:38am
Quoting cat
{quote} Passion, and an unbreakable belief in your ability. One of the biggest problems is that it takes so long to get to the stage where you actually know what you are doing, that you're almost hard-wired to fail. Then is the time to step up to the mark and really attack the markets with the conviction that successful trading requires. Every trade not taken when your system gives the green light to go is a crime against yourself. Working on one's own, without exposure to the feedback, inspiration, encouragement, motivation and companionship one...
I can't relate to the part of it taking a long time to get it right because i was put on a viable path almost from the beginning but i have to admit, the endurance and perseverance of some of the stories here is admirable. Reflecting on myself, i believe if i had not switched away from TA after a month of trying, i too would be on the long trek that may or may not lead to eventual consistency. Fail fast and address the problem is a motto i standby in my professional life and it has played out well in my trading also. We all have differing strengths and weaknesses, it is a case of solving the causes of those weaknesses in a efficient manner that makes all the difference to the time needed to become successful.
  • #16
  • Oct 2, 2018 9:19am Oct 2, 2018 9:19am
Quoting alphaomega
{quote} Forex Factory is one of the best forums on the internet in terms of software/interface. This is the reason why it so successful! You can find at least a few hundred other Forex forums on the internet, but only One with so many active users and readers. On the topic of loneliness,.....you just have to deal with it. No one can help you. This is the nature of business. There are always trade offs and sacrifices. Trading gives you a lot of independence. It's perfect for introverts and tech nerds. But if you want to be around other people all...
Also; there are many threads that provides constant lols; which keeps nerd traders active; and balanced
  • #17
  • Oct 2, 2018 9:44am Oct 2, 2018 9:44am
The ' Loneliness ' in the title of this thread doesn't necessarily refer just to solitude, after all, we are all alone in this life anyway, we are born alone and we die alone. It refers more, on this context, to the nature of the challenge. You can spend eight years of your life studying to be a doctor or a lawyer, and you know throughout all that time that provided you become fully qualified, there is a very lucrative career waiting for you. Not so with trading. You yourself may never stop believing, but others are unlikely to and you will command little respect from your loved ones if after a couple of years or so you are not bringing in a good income. This creates the kind of stress and anxiety that most other professions do not have. Nothing is guaranteed as a retail trader, not even the loyalty of those closest to you. It can be a vicious business in so many ways, thus ensuring so many of us do not succeed.
  • #18
  • Oct 2, 2018 10:05am Oct 2, 2018 10:05am
Quoting cat
I don't know how many people out there ever read the 1950s classic ' The Loneliness of the Long-Distance runner ', by Alan Sillitoe. In fact, the book is a collection of short stories, this story being just one of them. I won't say much about it, but it is s story of isolation, of immense dedication in the face of enormous adversity in a world cut off from normality which no one, sometimes not even oneself, understands. It is well worth a read for us traders, and there is also a 1962 film with the same title. There is s strong parallel with us traders....
When I first decided I wanted to trade, I was aware of what it might take, because I was the only one in my social circle talking about it. I knew what I might have to do. It may be one of those moments when you have to cut the wheat from the chaff. This is what I did.

1. I downsized. I became a minimalist except for transportation and computing power. I do not even own a television. I find it vapid. To trade you must become time rich. There is really no other good way until you are good enough to trade large time frames, then you add things back.
2. My way or the highway. I got rid of a woman. She was proving to be a distraction and did not want to learn with me. She was fired. My current wife is enrolled in babypips. If she wants to spend more time outside of the bedroom, she understands that trading with me is the best way to do it.
3. I spent money. A lot of it. An education costs money. A good education costs a lot of money. My objective was to look at any chart that anyone posted of anything with any kind of indicators and tell you what that is. Ironically, this led to be me stripping indicators away, and appreciating traders in various stages of development.
4. I DID NOT ADD MONEY TO A LOSING VENTURE. If one is not profitable with 1000 dollars, what moron would think they would be profitable with 10000 dollars? That is just stupid. And you know what they say about a fool and their money. This is how people lose five figures or more.
5. I never, ever, talk about trading outside of this forum or family and friends who have demonstrated that they can at least follow CNBC. If a trader does not do this, they will find beggars at their doorstep. DO NOT DO IT.

I love to trade, I love the history and the theory of it as well. The money is not too bad either. That's my story.

Quoting EcoTrader
Fail fast
First time I have seen someone on this forum with the professional acumen to put that in a post. Well done.
If you are good at something, never do it for free--Joker
  • #19
  • Oct 2, 2018 11:55am Oct 2, 2018 11:55am
Quoting magnumfreak
{quote}If they ask me what I do, I tell them. If they roll their eyes or make some stupid comment
"Hey man so what you do for a living?"

"I sell second hand under-wear."

"lol, what?!"

"Who would of thought there such a huge market for this? That trip to france we just had? yep, underwear."

"Whatever dude (weirdo) "

You wont hear anything else, i guarantee it. They'll be on ebay next looking for underwear

[[On a sidenote, i actually met a dude who sold oversized womens shoes for a living and i couldnt believe the returns he was getting. He was getting them dirt cheap as lets face it, not many women have a size 10 and up....Turns out he was selling them to cross-dressers!

Quoting cat
You can spend eight years of your life studying to be a doctor or a lawyer, and you know throughout all that time that provided you become fully qualified, there is a very lucrative career waiting for you.
I kind of get where your going with this, but in reality there is still cero certainty with that statement aswell. I personally know of two people (one is a civil-engineer, the other is an arquitect). One works as a shop manager overseeing 3 shops, the other is a lifeguard. Nothing conclusive i know, but still, ones "career" is still exposed to unforseen circumstances that nobody can control. An extreme example, Cuban people immigrating to other countries. They arrive in Spain and even though they have studied and paid their dues to become qualified doctors, they dont have any validation by spanish standards, hence they are not acknowledged as such. Resorting to working in underpaid blue collar jobs.

There is risk on both sides.

Quoting cat
You yourself may never stop believing, but others are unlikely to and you will command little respect from your loved ones if after a couple of years or so you are not bringing in a good income....It can be a vicious business in so many ways, thus ensuring so many of us do not succeed.
I think a good example of this is the film they made on Ray Kroc "The Founder". It kind of depicts the massive swings he had both in business and especially at a personal level with his wife. Always being away, etc....nevertheless, those that truly support you will **always be around you**, during good and bad times.
Many a time, these lessons and experiences end in a rather abrupt way, truly pinpointing the genuine from the fake in ones surrounding circle.

Nice thread you got here Cat
Attached Image
  • #20
  • Oct 3, 2018 4:22am Oct 3, 2018 4:22am
Quoting EcoTrader
{quote} I can't relate to the part of it taking a long time to get it right because i was put on a viable path almost from the beginning
Hi EcoTrader. Perhaps you could elaborate on this for the benefit of the thread, as it seems from this statement that you found a short cut to consistently profitable trading, or a short cut was given to you?
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