Hey guys, I believe that I have a slightly different case of trading obsession than most people, and I'm confused about how to overcome it to be honest, so I'll explain the back story.
From the ages of 15 onwards(I'm now 21) I have had severe ocd, anxiety and mild depression. Put simply, as ocd is a complex disorder with many manifestations, it sucked the life and soul from me in my teenage years, I would, because of ocd, be anxious ALL the time. This eventually led to me having a bit of a nervous breakdown before I was finally diagnosed with ocd and anxiety at 18.
The issue lies in the fact that trading, like some sort of videogame, became my only outlet for feeling calm and collected, and non anxious. From the age of 15 onwards I became-obsessed- with trading, I have spent thousands of hours poring over charts and learning to trade. What's more, I actually became very good at it and very profitable under a mentor, who offered me a large account for when I turned 18. I figured though, after my breakdown, that this reeks of emotional addiction and obsession and is probably very unhealthy. What's worse is that I wasn't a day trader, I swing traded the daily charts, and yet I was still obsessed.
So I put the markets on hold for a few years, deciding that I'd better sort out my ocd and anxiety issues. In 2 years I completely turned my life around, I was no longer the neurotic chart obsessed introvert with no common sense. Through therapy and my own efforts , without medication, I assume I've cured some 75% of my anxiety and ocd. The problem now is that I tried several times to'come back' to trading even just weekly charts, and yet I'm still getting a thrill and buzz feeling from trading . in fact not even trading, just the whole process of learning and analysis puts me in a state or zone which I can't help but be addicted to.
So I'm at ends now. To reiterate, I am not addicted to forex in the sense that I am over trading, fiddling with stops, gambling huge percentages per trade or even spending an abnormal time trading, as I now try to focus on weekly charts. I keep beating myself up over this because feel like I'm pissing away my new found confidence and 'normalness' compared to before. Each time I'quit' I come back , each time I come back I feel myself becoming somewhat obsessed again, even with weekly charts, and hate myself and quit again.
Any advice guys?
From the ages of 15 onwards(I'm now 21) I have had severe ocd, anxiety and mild depression. Put simply, as ocd is a complex disorder with many manifestations, it sucked the life and soul from me in my teenage years, I would, because of ocd, be anxious ALL the time. This eventually led to me having a bit of a nervous breakdown before I was finally diagnosed with ocd and anxiety at 18.
The issue lies in the fact that trading, like some sort of videogame, became my only outlet for feeling calm and collected, and non anxious. From the age of 15 onwards I became-obsessed- with trading, I have spent thousands of hours poring over charts and learning to trade. What's more, I actually became very good at it and very profitable under a mentor, who offered me a large account for when I turned 18. I figured though, after my breakdown, that this reeks of emotional addiction and obsession and is probably very unhealthy. What's worse is that I wasn't a day trader, I swing traded the daily charts, and yet I was still obsessed.
So I put the markets on hold for a few years, deciding that I'd better sort out my ocd and anxiety issues. In 2 years I completely turned my life around, I was no longer the neurotic chart obsessed introvert with no common sense. Through therapy and my own efforts , without medication, I assume I've cured some 75% of my anxiety and ocd. The problem now is that I tried several times to'come back' to trading even just weekly charts, and yet I'm still getting a thrill and buzz feeling from trading . in fact not even trading, just the whole process of learning and analysis puts me in a state or zone which I can't help but be addicted to.
So I'm at ends now. To reiterate, I am not addicted to forex in the sense that I am over trading, fiddling with stops, gambling huge percentages per trade or even spending an abnormal time trading, as I now try to focus on weekly charts. I keep beating myself up over this because feel like I'm pissing away my new found confidence and 'normalness' compared to before. Each time I'quit' I come back , each time I come back I feel myself becoming somewhat obsessed again, even with weekly charts, and hate myself and quit again.
Any advice guys?
