I cant understand where i'm wrong.

So i started trading 3 months ago.
In my opinion my trading ability has been on a upward trend since then.
I've closed december and january with gains and my trading style is becoming more and more "professional".Or so i thought.
Problem is that i've been using smaller and smaller positions,waiting a lot more time for better trade setups and sometime even letting go of some good trades because i wasn't completely sure.I did so because i read it on this forum and everyone say is the right way to last in this market:never rush trades,be careful of the ones you take,use perfect money management and so on.I've been doing all this but in the end this last month has been terrible.This will be the first month that i'll close in negative (-0.8% of the original deposit;even though there's still tomorrow and friday) even though the real reason for this debacle is that i've made a really stupid error 2 weeks ago (made a pending order with 0.1 lot instead of 0.01 ...).
So the problem isn't really about this month.
The problem is that when i was less cautious and rational i was gaining a lot more than now.
I'm afraid i'm becoming too fearful and overthinking things.
At the same time i realize that going back to "gamble" isn't the answer.
So what is the compromise?
How can one be cautious and rational without being TOO cautious and rational?(and thus losing good trades opportunities or being stopped out by spikes or simply bad luck?)
To tell the truth i'ts not even a fear problem i'm not "afraid" of losing because if i lose i lose little money;i simply cant find a way to regain that security that i had at the beginning, just opening random positions at random spots without much second thought...and being right.Now even if i open a 0.01 lots and it go straight where i supposed until the position is closed i cant be sure i'm right.
I really am saddened by this fact especially bacause in all the psychology books/threads i read nobody ever went over this peculiar problem...usually people do the opposite.
So what do i have to do?
If this is the real trading i think i prefer losing joking....kinda)

(p.s.:english isnt my first language so try to forgive possible errors.thanks)

If the real reason is, as you state, that you made a bad mistake in one trade, leading to a monthly loss, then the situation is not too serious. It is difficult when you are losing if you are used to winning. I find it psychologically demanding.

As you get better, there will be less drawdown and you will get used to dealing with it.

After 3 months of live trading I don't think there can be such a thing as being "too cautious". Learn your win expectancy. Expect drawdown. Build slowly. Look back at your mistakes and understand what caused them. It might be something you did not expect like tiredness or even over confidence.

Work hard to learn and don't give up. That's my advice.

Pick up Brett Steenbarger's "The Daily Trading Coach". It goes over psychological road blocks in trading with tips and lessons to deal with them.

another case when a trader gets stuck with Occams Razor .

In my opinion, you probably need to work a lot more on your system. If it was making you money 2 months ago and now its not.... then maybe it stopped working or maybe you never had it and were just lucky for the first two months.

With that being said, I suggest you try reading a little more on psychology of trading (a few good articles are right here on FF).

One thing is for sure though. Taking random bets and gambling instead of systematically trading will certainly destroy you (that should be a NO BRAINER).

while i agree with everything else you have said this is the point.
i cant find a compromise between overconfidence and excessive weakness/safety.
i'm not scared of losing;i'm scared of being wrong(...and not winning enough maybe...)
how do i fix this?
(btw will try to read the book lash,thanks)
thanks for the answers guys.

i read everything there is on ff(in sticky and even not in sticky) and other books too about psychology and,as i said,i've never seen anyone talk about this problem:everybody tell you how to fix the exact contrary.

btw it didnt came through because my english writing skills are rather obscene but when i began i didnt even have a system nor i knew what the hell i was doing.and that time was glorious.like gambling .
this month i had 95% of short positions won and 85% of long (if it wasnt for the stupid error i would be gaining like +4%...and all following perfect mm )the problem for which i seek answer is not about how to not lose money (which is the most answered problem if you watch around) but how to find a compromise between safety and bravery.around is full of people that tell you how to not lose money or how to make it...nobody tell you how to not lose money AND(at the same time) how to make it.

hope my point came through.

(btw i want to make clear that,even if i tend to sound a little pompous and arrogant,i'm full aware of the fact that i'm at the very beginning of my education.i don't know anything but what i ignore the most at this moment)

Get used to taking losses and being wrong. They are inevitable. All the best traders take losses. This is going to sound really big headed now but it needs to be said: I look at my monthly statement and see my biggest win is X5 my biggest loss, my next biggest win is bigger than my next biggest loss and so on. Sometimes, now I am more experienced, I close a trade very early if it doesn't do what I planned for. What does that give me? Lots of tiny losses. So what? Well, I used to get those when I didn't know what I was doing. But then I didn't get the large wins.

What's the problem then? I dream of getting win ratios like that.

Hmm yes... *sniff* troll troll... and how to not lose money is the most answered in trading? lol where?!?

in fact my problem is of a more subtle nature.
is more about myself than trading itself.i'm worried about my well being while trading because as it is now is become more and more hard and umbearable.
but here people seem to jump to conclusion.everybody see this way: do you make profit=good. do you lose=bad.nobody think that the HOW is important too.(how you feel i mean,if i have to be so tense and uncertain while trading i batter stop altogether...regardless of the profits)

(btw i'm not a troll obviously you can go check my older post to see if they match if you want.maybe i'm just talking about something you cannot understand seeing as everybody is only focused about making money and few care about the person)
(the statement was taken now.yesterday it was as i wrote.)

Hello kiadanai - welcome to the realities of trading. Point #6 in the following post may be of some assistance to you if indeed you are describing a lack of confidence in your emerging methodology. And with absolute respect for your current efforts, I would also refer you to point #2:

http://www.forexfactory.com/showthread.php?t=222471

I am not trying to promote my thread, because I offer nothing to "promote" as such, but nevertheless you may (or may not) find this helpful.

All the best.

38 Steps is also a classic.

http://www.forexfactory.com/showthread.php?t=1

absolutely true and i'll work toward being able to do as you write.
in fact,as of now, i really cant' say to have a "method" :i'm just keeping what i find useful trying every system and method that i find around on the internet and drop what is useless.the only thing on which i really base my trading is mm the rest is in extreme development.
thanks.

1. We accumulate information - buying books, going to seminars and researching.<----done
2. We begin to trade with our 'new' knowledge.<-----done
3. We consistently 'donate' and then realise we may need more knowledge or information.<----done but i didn donate that much before realizing it.
4. We accumulate more information.<----done
5. We switch the commodities we are currently following.<----yep
6. We go back into the market and trade with our 'updated' knowledge.<----done
7. We get 'beat up' again and begin to lose some of our confidence. Fear starts setting in.<----not happened i was beaten up in my first week then nothing more than 5% in the same day.
8. We start to listen to 'outside news' and to other traders.<---done (for some time i was following gatorinla )
9. We go back into the market and continue to 'donate'.<---not happened
10. We switch commodities again.<---nope
11. We search for more information.<---always
12. We go back into the market and start to see a little progress.<---maybe?
13. We get 'over-confident' and the market humbles us.<----i feel is going the other way.hence the thread.
14. We start to understand that trading successfully is going to take more time and more knowledge than we anticipated.<----yeas.sadly i got this too.

MOST PEOPLE WILL GIVE UP AT THIS POINT, AS THEY REALISE WORK IS INVOLVED.

15. We get serious and start concentrating on learning a 'real' methodology.<--i'm trying.even i cant really understand where to begin.
16. We trade our methodology with some success, but realise that something is missing.<---not here yet.
17. We begin to understand the need for having rules to apply our methodology.<---not here yet.
18. We take a sabbatical from trading to develop and research our trading rules.<----if i will it will not for reserching rules about trading but rules about myself.
19. We start trading again, this time with rules and find some success, but over all we still hesitate when we execute.

from here on it's just a dream.

20. We add, subtract and modify rules as we see a need to be more proficient with our rules.
21. We feel we are very close to crossing that threshold of successful trading.
22. We start to take responsibility for our trading results as we understand that our success is in us, not the methodology.
23. We continue to trade and become more proficient with our methodology and our rules.
24. As we trade we still have a tendency to violate our rules and our results are still erratic.
25. We know we are close.
26. We go back and research our rules.
27. We build the confidence in our rules and go back into the market and trade.
28. Our trading results are getting better, but we are still hesitating in executing our rules.
29. We now see the importance of following our rules as we see the results of our trades when we don't follow the rules.
30. We begin to see that our lack of success is within us (a lack of discipline in following the rules because of some kind of fear) and we begin to work on knowing ourselves better.
31. We continue to trade and the market teaches us more and more about ourselves.
32. We master our methodology and our trading rules.
33. We begin to consistently make money.
34. We get a little over-confident and the market humbles us.
35. We continue to learn our lessons.
36. We stop thinking and allow our rules to trade for us (trading becomes boring, but successful) and our trading account
continues to grow as we increase our contract size.
37. We are making more money than we ever dreamed possible.
38. We go on with our lives and accomplish many of the goals we had always dreamed of.

well it's obvious i'm just at the beginning.
but the answer to my problem still seems far.