Cesarnc's market talk, gossips, rumours & fun

WTF???






Oh wait, I live in Switzerland and don't have to comply to US law

But still.............Thats fucked up.

Are they tightening up the anti hedging rule? I just don't get it - burocracy gone mad.

Trying to control volatility and risk, next they will try to control prices.

somes jokes....

"Get my broker, Miss Jones."
"Yes sir. Stock, or Pawn?"

The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.

The problem with investment bank balance sheets is that on the left side nothing is right and on the right side nothing is left.

How do you find a good small-cap fund manager?
Find a good large-cap fund manager, and wait

The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been repossessed.

There's a surgeon, an architect and an economist. The surgeon said, 'Look, we're the most important. God's a surgeon because the very first thing God did was to extract Eve from Adam's rib.' The architect said, 'No, wait a minute, God is an architect. God made the world in seven days out of chaos.' The economist smiled, 'And who made the chaos?'
There are two types of economists: those who cannot forecast interest rates and those who do not know that they cannot forecast interest rates.

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.

President Bush said clients shouldn’t be concerned by all the bank closings. If the bank is closed, you just use the ATM, he said.

President Bush said that he is saddened to hear about the demise of Lehman Brothers. His thoughts at this time go out to their mother as losing one son is hard but losing two is a tragedy.

Two Lehman employees get into an elevator to go home.
One pushes the button but it doesn’t move. “What’s going on?” he asks, “why doesn’t it move”?
The other pulls out his laptop and says “Well of course, according to my model, nothing can go down further.”
A new teacher was getting to know the kids by asking them their name and what their father did for a living.
The first little girl said: “My name is Mary and my Daddy is a postman.”
The next child, a little boy said: “I’m Andy and my Dad is a mechanic.”
And so it went until one little boy said: “My name is Johnny and my father is a striptease artist.”
The teacher gasped and quickly changed the subject. Later, in the school yard, the teacher approached Little Johnny privately and asked if it was really true that his dad danced nude.
Little Johnny blushed and said, “No, he’s really a Business Development Director at Lehman Brothers, but I’m just too embarrassed to tell anyone.”

AIG, you know the insurance company who’s getting over $11-billion of our dollars in bailout money?
Well, they announced they’re giving 130 of their executives cash awards of up to $3-million. These are cash awards, not
bonuses. They say they are payments to guarantee that their top executives stay with the company. Oh, yeah, God forbid AIG should lose any of these business geniuses. Imagine what kind of shape they’d be in without these people. Again, these are cash awards, not bonuses. So we should send them to jail, not prison, see? – Jay Leno

Why have real estate agents stopped looking out the window in the morning?
Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.
Because of the ongoing market turmoil, several companies are merging in order to survive. Some results of these mergers:
Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become – Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace
3M and Goodyear will merge and become – MMMGood
FedEx is expected to join its competitor UPS to become – FedUP
Honeywell and Dewey Electronics – Honey Dew
P/E RATIO – The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing

BROKER – What my broker has made me
What’s the definition of optimism?
An Investment Banker ironing five shirts on a Sunday evening.
Even when you put Bernanke on “mute”, the market still goes down.
The government is going to be handing out rebate checks. We’re like a bad car dealership now in this country, handing out the rebate checks. They’re trying to restore confidence in the U.S. economy. The bad news – half the people want the money in euros, the other half want it in pesos. – Jay Leno

A plan to bail out the Big Three automakers stalled in Congress today. Yeah. As a result, Congress plans to buy a better-built Japanese bailout plan. – Conan O'Brien

General Motors versus Toyota
A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order, American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager. They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles. Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India.
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

Can't believe I never saw this until now, its been out there since July
I normally keep up to date on stuff like that. Looking over the rules makes me glad I live in Switzerland, land of the free where you can close any position you like any time you want. This is the U.S trying to shake out over leveraged retail traders and to close down those shops with 400-1. The first in first out rule is the most F@#ked up thing I have ever seen. That would kill a trend trader.

I just moved my trailing stop up a few more pips, oh wait...you cant do that in the U.S



Sorry to laugh at your situation but its time to get a new broker NOW.

Apparently there are US based brokers moving their customers overseas, too. That's what governments around the world don't get: you place a rule, we find 100 ways to override it.

Here in São Paulo we are now forced to submit our cars to an annual inspection. You wait for 2 hours in a line, do the inspection with badly prepared arrogant bastards drooling to reprove you.

I'm now transferring my car to my hometown 100km out to override this BS and have peace for the next 50 years...

Governments suck....

Futures on hangover after Monday's feast, can't blame them....

I believe on line gambling has been banned in the USA for some time. What's that about? Gambling is allowed but not on line? Can you do it on the subway? In a field? (Wondering if big casino interests had something to do with that?)

Presumably, now all the business goes elsewhere?

I think it has to do with money laundry, not sure...

That was one hot discussion I had with a friend a few days ago. She is strongly against piracy on the internet. "crime", "copyright", "unfair", so forth.

On my side, I'm not in favor of piracy... in an ideal world. Question now is that almost everything is at one click away for free. Music, movies, gambling, porn, whatever! You can say it's not right, but you can't deny that this is how things are today...

Was it right that a meteor hit the Earth with no warning whatsoever and killed all the dinossaurs? Of course it was wrong. But, it happened.

My point is: while the dinossaurs were bitching and whinning about their fate, the cockroaches found holes, packed up and got the crap outta there for years. That's why you don't find T-Rexes in your kitchen once and while these days.

The world has to find ways to deal with these kind of things. The music business has to find ways to make a buck today. Banning this or forbidding that is just like Britney trying to quit alcohol: it's not gonna work.

My 2c...

"My point is: while the dinossaurs were bitching and whinning about their fate, the cockroaches found holes, packed up and got the crap outta there for years. That's why you don't find T-Rexes in your kitchen once and while these days."

You are too funny.... See you at chonchy's barbecue. I hear it's the only place to be.



Looking at dskw's jokes - General motors v. Toyota in particular, I heard a story about how when IBM was having problems with volume production of chips in the early days of the PC they outsourced a sample order to a Japanese company to include no more than 10% faulty units. When the order came back from Japan it included the note "We are not sure why you wanted the 10% faulty units but we have enclosed some in a seperate package". I wonder how true is that story?

there is another story that floated around as well. these american engineers made this extremely thin wire and were all proud of themselves, so they sent it to japan to show off. a couple of weeks later it showed up with a note " top this". at first the americans didn't notice anything different. after lots of investigation, they realized the japanese had drilled a hole thru the wire. ingenious, i thought.

the issue in the states is what we beleive in. i think this country is lost in it's own ego. we were great and it went to our heads. just like a pro team, we show up and we win. these other teams shouldn't even show up, just go to the bar and buy us beers. the rest of the world got tired of it and is now kicking our asses, but our leaders have cranial-rectal inversion and cannot see it. all they do is point fingers at each other and place blame. now they have added trillions to the deficit and think the very few rich should pay for everything while raising everyone else's income level. i thought it was proven that communism failed??? guess obama didn't get the memo. they want you to work hard and be successful as an entrepreneur, but they also want to pay very high wages, pay the highest taxes in the world, pay for other people's healthcare, and hire people you do not need. oh, and never complain about it. what is that old proverb?? "be happy in your raping, i mean work??

well, i shouldn't complain, there are always pips to be made in any situation. i guess i will just make pips as best i can.

We in Brazil use to pick at Portuguese people as "dumb". Like other countries do with other countries as well...

So the story tells that it was a Portuguese guy who invented the windshield wiper.

The Americans just improved it: put it at the outside

Just popping in and out today. I'm working with my CorelZilla.

Have to shut down every application possible to free some RAM. Already turned the fridge off to see if it helps...

[quote=mtrmth;2928726] the issue in the states is what we beleive in. i think this country is lost in it's own ego. we were great and it went to our heads......

Hasn't this always been the same tho' - look at the Egyptians or Mayans - fantastic civilisations that turned to mush. We keep forgetting that as humans we have learned jack shit - we still make the same mistakes that we made in the year dot, but we are so far up our own arses that we don't realize it!!

arby's...

Well, since we're not going to change the world

Long Dow Long Bovespa Long Oil... Bubble it up!!!!

Yes we are!

[quote=BackTestDummy;2928863] hey man what is wrong with the mayans and the egyptians


chonchy(el inca)

cesar(the pharaoh)

on the news today smikester, BRW, cesar, turtle and few others where gater at chonchy's house for a pig BB, chonchy wasen't there, uhmm