This journal is purely for myself and its easy for me to keep all my thoughts in one place without having to start my own blog / rubbish. Microsoft word has become a chore with the limited amount of time I have and archiving them so this is brilliant given that i spend quite awhile on this site.
I manage money for people as well as trade for my ownself. Been doing this for the last 8 years on my own since I was 18 as a retail trader before becoming an Investment bank trader for 1+ year and following which spending it trading for myself and other people. Blew numerous accounts and now that I am in my mid twenties, I feel more focused and discipline. Still not a 100% consistent but I am aiming to achieve it. Its been a hard a long journey and it will only get tougher. But i feel that i am ready and prepared given the time that I have spent following the markets and fine tuning my own trading style.
Post 1: 5th December 2015
It's been a hell of a hairy week. With the total of 3 accounts that I am managing trading futures, FX and equities, I must say that I was extremely lucky. Manage to breakeven on the futures account despite being up 3% thanks to NFP, no trades on my equities and up 125% on my FX account. I was extremely aggressive with this account and leveraged 100:1 on 20k.
Euro has been extremely profitable given its volatility and it's all about catching the right trend. Even though I had my discipline on, I almost lost 50% of my profits this month on 3 bad consecutive trades today before riding the last wave down which was a life saver. I thought I had a good control of my emotions but the all too familiar gut wrenching feeling when I had to yank my trades was present especially on the 3rd one. I think that despite having a good feeling of EUR/USD and a pretty decent hit rate, a 100:1 leverage is still hard for me to manage and I am not able to detach my emotions fully.
Try as I might through all the yoga and meditation, there was a feeling of panic that struck me as I saw ta 12k drawn down within an hour. Sure, I was still up about 50% of the account but that didn't mean jack shit. I actually tried to chase my second bad trade which resulted in another 1+k loss. I'm still frustrated with myself for having emotions and attachments to my trades. I'm still cutting my profits too fast and let my losers run... I need to improve that and improve that fast. No hesitation, no wavering, no second thoughts. It MUST become mechanical like a instant reflex.
Objective 1: I need to think how i can improve on that and come up with exercises and practices to pull that god damn trigger. Is it my confidence in my set up that is lacking? Is it a lack of my own self confidence or fear? How can I ensure that it is 100% locked in all the time.
An old lesson is reinforced. In trading, only results matter. It doesn't matter whether you are up 3% for the month before break even. What matters is that at the end of the month you are profitable. No one really cares what happens in between but just that at the end of the month, there is money for them to receive. It's about the consistency and the focus. Ending breakeven and slightly down (-0.02%) on the futures account just meant that I was an unprofitable trader this month. I failed in that sense and I have to improve on it. My DOM reading skills and volume examination has been sorely lacking as a result of trading too many OTC products both in terms of FX and in terms of Credit.
Every single damn asset class is a new girl, a new relationship. You have to spend time to nurture her, to understand her, to get to know what makes her tick and what makes her react. I spent far too little time on my futures account and volume reading / understanding to be profitable. I deserved it. The results is a reflection of your mastery. I failed in that aspect and I have to improve.
Objective 2: Read and better understand tape reading, Volume and DOM.
I got sloppy and I got over confident, dare I say even prideful of my results resulting in a hairy experience no thanks to Yellen and Draghi. Remember, this game is about consistency not 1 hit wonders. If I dont watch that confidence and tell myself everyday is a new fucking day, I'll end up on the streets.
I manage money for people as well as trade for my ownself. Been doing this for the last 8 years on my own since I was 18 as a retail trader before becoming an Investment bank trader for 1+ year and following which spending it trading for myself and other people. Blew numerous accounts and now that I am in my mid twenties, I feel more focused and discipline. Still not a 100% consistent but I am aiming to achieve it. Its been a hard a long journey and it will only get tougher. But i feel that i am ready and prepared given the time that I have spent following the markets and fine tuning my own trading style.
Post 1: 5th December 2015
It's been a hell of a hairy week. With the total of 3 accounts that I am managing trading futures, FX and equities, I must say that I was extremely lucky. Manage to breakeven on the futures account despite being up 3% thanks to NFP, no trades on my equities and up 125% on my FX account. I was extremely aggressive with this account and leveraged 100:1 on 20k.
Euro has been extremely profitable given its volatility and it's all about catching the right trend. Even though I had my discipline on, I almost lost 50% of my profits this month on 3 bad consecutive trades today before riding the last wave down which was a life saver. I thought I had a good control of my emotions but the all too familiar gut wrenching feeling when I had to yank my trades was present especially on the 3rd one. I think that despite having a good feeling of EUR/USD and a pretty decent hit rate, a 100:1 leverage is still hard for me to manage and I am not able to detach my emotions fully.
Try as I might through all the yoga and meditation, there was a feeling of panic that struck me as I saw ta 12k drawn down within an hour. Sure, I was still up about 50% of the account but that didn't mean jack shit. I actually tried to chase my second bad trade which resulted in another 1+k loss. I'm still frustrated with myself for having emotions and attachments to my trades. I'm still cutting my profits too fast and let my losers run... I need to improve that and improve that fast. No hesitation, no wavering, no second thoughts. It MUST become mechanical like a instant reflex.
Objective 1: I need to think how i can improve on that and come up with exercises and practices to pull that god damn trigger. Is it my confidence in my set up that is lacking? Is it a lack of my own self confidence or fear? How can I ensure that it is 100% locked in all the time.
An old lesson is reinforced. In trading, only results matter. It doesn't matter whether you are up 3% for the month before break even. What matters is that at the end of the month you are profitable. No one really cares what happens in between but just that at the end of the month, there is money for them to receive. It's about the consistency and the focus. Ending breakeven and slightly down (-0.02%) on the futures account just meant that I was an unprofitable trader this month. I failed in that sense and I have to improve on it. My DOM reading skills and volume examination has been sorely lacking as a result of trading too many OTC products both in terms of FX and in terms of Credit.
Every single damn asset class is a new girl, a new relationship. You have to spend time to nurture her, to understand her, to get to know what makes her tick and what makes her react. I spent far too little time on my futures account and volume reading / understanding to be profitable. I deserved it. The results is a reflection of your mastery. I failed in that aspect and I have to improve.
Objective 2: Read and better understand tape reading, Volume and DOM.
I got sloppy and I got over confident, dare I say even prideful of my results resulting in a hairy experience no thanks to Yellen and Draghi. Remember, this game is about consistency not 1 hit wonders. If I dont watch that confidence and tell myself everyday is a new fucking day, I'll end up on the streets.
Attached Image (click to enlarge)
There is no royal road to anything.
