A Traders Life

You are awesome X-Man. Please keep posting, for the sake of all of us lol

Lool thanks for sharing, awesome thread to bring the fun

when you think your winning, you may be a frog!

uiii, bad work, must be
erros = more^2 x code^2
==> e=m^2+e^2

This one was shared by eelfranz:

Cowboy Bank Loan

A Cowboy from Laramie, Wyoming, walked into a bank in New York City
and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was
going to Paris for an international rodeo for two weeks and needed to
borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of
security for the loan, so the Cowboy handed over the keys to a new
Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.
The Cowboy produced the title and everything checked out. The loan
officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and
apologized for having to charge 12% interest. Later, the bank's
president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Cowboy from
Wyoming for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private
underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Cowboy returned, repaid the $5,000 and the
interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to
have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked
you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a highly
sophisticated investor and multimillionaire with real estate and
financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a
large number of wind turbines around Laramie, Wyoming. What puzzles
us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole Wyoming boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I
park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there
when I return?"

I remember this story from big E when i first started my forex path.

A broker named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day, Ben drove up and said,

1. Ben: Sorry, but I have some bad news. The donkey died.
2. Jean Paul: Well, then, just give me the money back,
3. Ben: Can't do that. I went and spent it already.
4. Jean Paul: OK, then. Just unload the donkey,
5. Ben: What ya going to do with him?
6. Jean Paul: I'm going to raffle him off,
7. Ben: You can't raffle off a dead donkey!
8. Jean Paul: Sure can. Watch me. I just won't tell that he's dead,

A month later Ben met up with the Cajun and asked,

1. Ben: What happened with that dead donkey?
2. Jean Paul: I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898,
3. Ben: Didn't anyone complain?
4. Jean Paul: Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.

New mattress
A man (MAN) calls his fx dealer (DEALER) all anxious and out of breath with this urgency in his voice. He says,

1. MAN: Close all my positions, everything fast, right away.

The fx dealer tries to talk to the man but the man says,

1. MAN: Let me tell you a secret. You know I've been married for 6 years now and I've been your client for 5 years.
2. DEALER: Yes, go on, the FX dealer says.
3. MAN: Well. My wife has this thing about the market. Her grandparents lost it all in the GBP crash and ever since then her family found investing in the market akin to original sin. When we got married I promised her that I would follow in her parents footsteps and never venture in the FX market and always leave all our money under the mattress.
4. DEALER: Wow, I didn't know that. I guess you want the money because you are losing.
5. MAN: No, I want the money because she ordered a new mattress and it is being delivered in two days.

Economist
One day an economist died and was accidentally sent to hell. As we all know, all dogs and economists go to heaven, but in this instance old saint Peter was off his game and our economist joined all the rapists, murderers and forex traders in the underworld.
After a few weeks in hell the economist realises that it's not such a bad place after all, it's just chronically mismanaged. So he implements a plan.
Within a few months the economy in hell is booming. He has the budget in surplus which enables the devil to spend on infrastructure, and investment funds start to flow in, increasing capital expenditures throughout the entire hellish economy.
After a year or two God looks down and notices that the standard of living in hell has increased to the point that most of his angels are booking their summer vacations there. The beaches are lovely, and face it, heaven is the last place you're gonna find someone who can mix a decent cocktail.
He phones the devil to ask what's going on. Satan explains that they have employed the services of an economist to fix their economy.
God is not happy. "You know that all economists go to heaven" he yelled, "send him back immediately or we're going to sue you"
The devil just laughed and replied, "As if! Where are you gonna get your hands on a lawyer?"

The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried.

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The market is weird. Every time one guy sells, another one buys, and they both think they're smart.

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The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. (c) Clint Eastwood

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What's considered enough money? Just a little bit more. (c) Will Rogers

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If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. (c) J. Paul Getty