My mentality - my problem

Hey Dollar !
I started reading your intro.
..and it sounds good for me!
Wish you good luck with your thread..

last today's trade:
entry at the touch of 35sma on 1 h chart, and getting to area of 200 ema on 4h chart, all close to 130 round number. then price constrained just above 130 and kept sticking to steep 35sma on 1h chart. exit due to fact the price started going down.

as I work 4 on 4 off today is my last day off, so probably won't trade till Monday, unless I'll see some price constrainment in the evening and it happens quite often and then price goes the direction I think it will

mentally I feel like shit today. my muscles are shaking, heart beats, I am sad and pissed off. I feel like a useless cunt as a father and husband. Many thoughts in my mind. I was hoping that forex will become my part time job, but looks like not, not nearest future. so I keep thinking what to do with my life, how can I change it and mentally I feel so tired, so lazy, I can't be bothered to do anything. out to gym today again, maybe it will change my mood.

thanks. I could do trainings about mm and discipline for traders and I can't help myself - just need time. and I can't put so much hope into forex. I need some side business for my 4 days off.

So... Tell me

Since the start of this thread major pair, what have we learned?>? :nerd:

I've learned that sooner and later you will drop in to seek attention
besides: I've learned that it is more difficult than I thought. Let's say I'll tell somebody: don't think about pink unicorn - it is a stuff nobody would think about but after saying so your mind will push you this way and pink silly unicorn will be the only think on your mind. I also learned that I keep doing same mistakes, the only difference is that I don't allow to wipe my account at once , I do it slowly

summary for today:
3 trades, 1 good, 2 bad, -16pips gain, -1.8% lost
the good thing is I sticked to discipline in terms of s/l, max loses a day, so the loss is not big

Be more specific

now you're more specific in seeking attention

Cease the day Harvey

Let it all out, I just may be able to help you, if you drop your ego for 1 moment. Or maybe I just come on here for attention. Your call

please go troll somewhere else I honestly don't think you can help me.

If I was in need of help, I would certainly place CindyXXXX somewhere in the top of the list ...

Well admitting it is the first step I really think we've made no progress here today. Good luck with the demo. Tradings not for everyone



Trolly out

well if you say so, then I believe.
What I have learned? I've learned that I chose wrong direction about my education. I went to bad uni, I wanted to avoid studies with Maths when today I know that studies like engineering would give me a better opportunity for good life. I am in mid 30s and I don't believe in myself. had so many ideas about private business but had no balls, no courage to start. even now I think what can I really do? I can do many things, but never mastered any of them. I can paint (decorate), I can plaster, I can wash dishes , I have good customer skills, I have experience in running teams of dozens of people, experience in EU export, experience in logistics and operations, I communicate well on all levels and depending on who I deal with I will talk the way they do, posh or chav, I'll talk the same they do, I adapt easly ;-), I can fix computers, and few more things and I feel like a shithead that can't do anything. Sitting on my ass at home with legs up on the desk, staring at computer is a job of my dreams, but I suck at it. We're about to take mortgage soon, it stresses me up as well, it will clear our account and I'll stay without even having an emergency fund (I think at least 3-4k are needed), also no job is secure these days. I work in big international company, and seems that my job is guaranteed for about 2.5 years, but you never know these days.
the only idea for business I have today is man and van plus lawn moving services etc, but it costs and money is something I lack now and I won't take a loan because I am affraid. I look in the future and it doesn't look bright for me, I keep trying and it doesn't work, I just suck. I walk to work, then I go by bus and then walk again because I cannot afford to buy a car, in the gym I go to I feel like a retard. everybody comes in by car that is max 5 yrs old, and I go to gym by bus, don't even have a bicycle, because the house I rent has no storage. I try to get out from this situation and I can't.
the only reason I try forex is because I want to secure future - mine and my family's and I don't want much. small car, 3 bed mortgage free house in average neighbourhood, holidays once a year, emergency fund that will allow me to live half year without a job, pension money run by myself - I think I can invest better than pension funds - their provisions eat all the profits, and some cash to secure my son's future in those hard times.

that's how I feel. I don't want to be rich. I want to be financially secure and safe.

You are thinking way too much about this instead of concentrate on the essential: your trading.

that's my target. some people dream of god knows what, limousines, celebrity lifestyle, big mansions - I just want to be secure

Of course you can have any dream you want ... But it shouldn't take too much space in your mind while trading.

While thinking about the potential money you might make, your trading decision are biased. This was my point.

true
thanks for your help, you spent quite a while today with me

My pleasure.

amazing guy - http://www.forexfactory.com/taxi*driver#07 - I wonder why he got out after such a good profit - he could be rich within two years

anyway, I still feel shite - I know what I did wrong, I also know that If I'd get to my real account - I'd do it again. The bigger the loss the bigger risk taken to take it back.
I need to change the tracks - need to get back onto proper thinking and I can't allow breaking any rules again. I think of doing myself a proper checklist - checklist to follow before getting into trade. I already had one, but need to update it and hang above my desk.
plus education - need to get back to van Tharp books, and need to learn about price action - a lot. I need to mentally recover as I feel like I really dissapointed my family - they don't feel so (my son is 2,5 so he doesn't know what forex is yet, and wife says it's only money and believes in me says some day I'll get there) - I want to spare my son stress of life, I want to provide him with good education but without forcing him, rather by pointing him the proper direction - I will get there, I know I am, but stll stresses me out - maybe I needed a kick in my ass (again) to understand that 1% profit earned in wise way is better than 20% loss

You should put on top of your list to never look back at your losses when you enter the next trade. Revenge trading isn't allowed ... NEVER.