Trading and Family Conflicts

Anyone else have problems with people who don't understand you Trading for a living?

My family have been trying to talk me out of it for a couple of years now. Despite making a good amount of money from commodities the past couple of years they still don't see me as having a "real" job and always tell me that I am gambling with my future and that I am on the edge of losing it all. Lately these types of arguments are happeneing almost daily, to the point where I am considering cutting ties for a while and moving away where I can't be pestered and put in a constant negative state of mind. The pessimism is starting to affect my trading as I cannot think clearly about my trades.

My family are of working class background. The men would get up at 5am and go work manual labour jobs 12 hours a day, 6 days a week. The women would work part time in shops and as secretarys etc whislt also running the household. The idea of me refusing to live that kind of life, to go and be entrepreneurial, live outside the box is incomprehensible to them. I have reached a point where I no longer feel that I have anything in common with any of them. I also feel that being around them is dragging me down, holding me back. They keep handing me job advertisements for jobs that pay anywere from £14K - £18K per year and I keep putting them through the shredder. They tell me I am living in a fantasy world and are quick to point out every mistake that I make with the "Ha! I told you so!" kind of talk.

I have no friends or other relatives outside of my area, this is where I have lived my entire life. I did some contract work in London a while ago but hated that city, too big, loud and in parts dangerous. Despite not knowing what may lay ahead I am considering packing my bags and leaving everyone behind, I can't take the negative atmosphere much longer, I think I am close to snapping. I nver thought my own family would drive me to this, that they would be so unsupportive in my ventures.

I understand Trading and going self employed are not easy or common routes for people to take. Surely I am not the only one having to deal with crap like this. If any of you have been in a similar situation I'd like to hear it. I don't wanna do anything I may later regret.

Don't worry. I've been there, They will calm down once you start making consistent $$.
As the saying goes " Money talks BS walks"
I clearly told them. " JOB 8-5 " is not my thing. If you have a better plan lemme know, I'll do that.
But this was only until I started making consistent money.
Just to keep family happy and myself busy I have kept my Job too.
Now I have to Incomes and they are happier than ever.
Until this happens to you, You will need a lot of patience.
Wish you all the luck.
Robin..

sorry to hear your story but I think every young trader have to go through it, my dad kicked me out of house few months back thinking I am just gambling and some day I will blew away his property and money as well...

any ways its best to trade your own earn money and live alone and prove your self and go back to them....

So it appears this is just part of being a Trader huh? Well that sucks.

I have my own business that I also run during the week but my family don't like me doing that either. They say there is no security in it. I think they are just a bunch of pessimistic worriers. I've sometimes thought maybe they don't like the fact that I am trying to get out of the rat race? Jealousy? I dunno.

In the meantime I am purposely doing my best to avoid anyone. No arguments today so far and I made a 2% profit on NGAS. It's easier to think clearly when you haven't been shouted at or mocked earler in the day.

it sounds like you better do all you can to prove them wrong because now
You can't go home again
You can't recover the past.

From your posts, I assume that by Family, you mean Parents and other relations as opposed to Wife and Children?

So are you living at home with your parents?
Are your parents supporting you or do you contribute a reasonable sum to the Family budget?
I ask this because I see a lot of young adults nowadays go to work but still expect their parents to feed and accommodate them for free.

From another thread
Try to look at things from your parents point of view
Is it possible that their perception is that you are sitting at the computer, playing games and watching videos all day?
Do they see you receive any sort of benefit from trading? If you are earning less than 200 Pounds per week, it is understandable that they would urge you to get a "proper job"


We all want the best for our children, that is natural. Us old'uns have lived many years and have more experience than youngsters whose only experience of life is being cared for by their parents and very little experience of the real, hard world.
What you see as interfering and meddling by your family is them urging you towards a better life than they have had.
There may also be a certain amount of exasperation from your family.
My stepson is 19 years old now. He does go to work when it suits him
He has this delusional idea that he can earn more by playing and gambling on snooker than he can by working.
Note the word "delusional". that is my opinion, but of course he doesn't see it that way.
I was paying for him to go to college, but stopped that when I found out that he was taking the money that I gave him each day and losing it playing snooker. It came to light when he came home one day without his Mother's motorbike. He had lost more money than he had (equivalent to what most people around here earn in 2 weeks) and his Mother and I had to go and pay the debt to get the motorbike back.

Yes, he is gambling, not trading. But you have to understand that your parents will probably not see any difference, especially if they do not see any evidence that you are earning from trading.

So, my stepson who considers himself an adult but still expects to be supported, the same as a child.
Contributes nothing to the family budget
Constantly borrows money that he rarely pays back
Believes that it is his right to eat for free
Believes that we are here as his servants to do his washing etc.
Won't lift a finger to do anything to help in the house.
Expects to be able to use a vehicle whenever he wants without ever putting in fuel.


If you recognise any of the above in yourself, then consider some self examination.

By all means, move out from your parents house, but work out a realistic budget of what it will cost you for rent, food, gas, electric, laundry etc.
Do you have enough income to cover all of these expenses?

Of course, I am making a lot of assumptions here and it may be that nothing I have written is applicable in your case.
If so, then ignore my post.

But if you find that a fair amount does apply to you, my advice is to
Grow up and be grateful that your parents are still supporting you and that they only have your best interests at heart.

Yes, I moved back in with my parents after my first business went bust. it was a hard time but I got back on my feet after a while. I pay rent and buy all my own stuff and I make a decent living off of Forex and my new business. Income varies month to month but I am doing pretty well, currently saving for a home. I have £30K tucked away for a house so far, trying to get that up to around £140K by 2016 and have built my life around hitting that target. In the meantime I told them my plan to save for a house when I first moved back in and agreed an amount to be paid to them each month as rent. They were happy at the time and back then I was working 3 jobs to come up with the dough to start another business and to add to my trading account. It was when I left those jobs and became entirely self employed that arguments begun to occur. Despite making anywhere from 2 to 4 times as much being self employed they still wanted me to just give it all up and get a regular job. It just pisses me off to hear them telling me that I will not be succesful, that my ambitions are too high etc all the time.

In all honesty I think I just have a much higher risk tolerance than anyone else in my family and that is one of the reasons for conflict. I've always been the black sheep though, known it ever since I weas little but just couldn't put my thumb on it. I'm a risk taker, they aren't.

BTW, if you are wondering how my first business went bust it wasn't due to poor cash flow or anything. My ex-girlfriend emptied the account, sold the stock and ran off when I was away at a business convention in London. I got back and I'd been cleaned out. It's a long story but I was basically forced to close and the bank wouldn't loan me the funds to keep things going due to the circumstances. Police are still investigating despite no leads for over 6 months now. They believe she may be in Argentina but nobody knows for sure, not even her family. It was a pretty dark time in my life to be betrayed like that.

Thanks for sharing that BTW. I see your perspective and this actually describes a friends situation very well. He is unemployed with no intention of finding work. As long as the Dole give him enough to cover his alcohol consumption then he is happy and his parents are on the verge of kicking him out as a result. I have no sympathy for him, in fact it is very frustrating as he is above average intelligence with a degree in engineering. Sadly he just can't or rather won't get out of the student/partying lifestyle. Hopefully he and your stepson find the drive to do something productive soon.

Well, if you are doing so well and your family is making you miserable, why the discussion - move out and get your own place.
You can obviously afford it, so why are you staying there?

Basically it's cheaper. I have nobody to move out with so I would have to pay everything and that I have estimated will cost me around an extra £400 per month when you add everything up.

Like I said earler though, despite this I am strongly considering it. I'm going to have a long talk tonight about it.

The problem with my step son is that he needs a huge kick up the ar**
I try to give him that kick. The problem is that his Mother will keep giving in and giving him money.
She doesn't realise that she is not doing him any favours. He needs to learn how to be independant.
She doesn't realise that she is making a rod for her own back.
What will happen if he gets married and has kids? With his attitude, there is no way that he could support a family. I can see him constantly turning up with his hand out.
To be honest with you, I sometimes flirt with the idea of moving out so that the Missus and her son would know what life is like without my money, but I also have a 7 year old stepdaughter who I love very much and I can't do that to her.
The Missus works, but our family spending is about 5 times her income, so my contribution is about 80%.
5 or 6 years ago I was getting 75 Thai Baht to the GBP, I moved money over last week, the exchange rate is now 44 Baht to the Pound. During the same period, the cost of living has doubled here. I now need 3 times the amount of GBP to maintain the same lifestyle that I did 5 or 6 years ago. My spending now exceeds my income, so my capital is shrinking year on year.
So I am not happy to have a scrounging step son when financially things are getting tighter and tighter.