Disclaimer – This thread is for entertainment only. Do not take it too seriously! It's just for fun.
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Being a full time trader is hard. We spend most of our lives trapped in front of our computers and debating economic trash, like the impact of Q1 GDP growth on a currency. So naturally, once the market is closed – we need to get out to the club and spend some quality time with the girls.
So our eyesight is so bad, our glasses are an inch thick. We’ve never seen the inside of a gym. No problem! Thanks to Twilight, all the girls love a skinny pale white guy. We’ve never had it so good!
Please feel free to share your own dating/trading tips!
Enjoy all -
For the single trader – out on a Friday after the market is closed
Having trouble picking up girls? Well, instead of trying to talk to that one cutie standing at the bar – It’s time to apply your trading skills! We all know it’s about consistent application of your strategy over time right? Now your strategy is as follows = 1. Approach girl 2. Smile 3. “Hey, how’s it going?”. Do that to enough girls in one night – You will bag one of them.
Don’t get caught out with analysis paralysis! If you’ve spotted a lovely young beauty, you need to get in there quick. Don’t stand around thinking about it! You’ll either get nervous, or she’ll catch you drooling. NOT a good first impression. Much like when you are trading. Does it fit your strategy? Yes? Get in there!
So you’ve managed to get talking, things are going well
Damn son, you are such a player – You got her back to your place! But wait – when you’ve gone to the fridge to break out another drink before you get your mack on – Your girl appears to have passed out on the sofa. She is too drunk! If you carry that in to your bedroom, you are going to find yourself with a rape charge. What did we learn in babypips? CUT YOUR LOSSES SHORT. Throw a blanket on her and sleep alone. Who knows…. she may respect that and you’ll be rewarded in the morning!
Perhaps you hit the dance floor, your dancing with both your friend groups nearby. Things are getting hot, but when you go in for the kiss, she’s pulling away. You don’t get it? Girls have this crazy belief that if her friends see her making out with a stranger in public, they will call her a slut. This may or may not be true – but an easy solution is to take her by the hand, casually move to the other side of the dancefloor where her friends can’t see – and you may get better results. THIS IS HOW TO LET YOUR PROFITS RUN!
For those traders with long term relationships – I bet you are position traders as well? Yup… pretty boring
You still need to keep on top of your dating game! You’ve got a lot of your margin tied up with your existing positions – they are going well, but don’t forget to hedge those! Relationships end. Is the secretary at your office young and supple? Send her some subtly flirty emails on the back of some work related chat – don’t talk about your girlfriend and there will be some sexual tension ready for that office party.
On the flip side, once you blow it with her (and the HR department) when you tell her “I can get you a promotion if you show me how much you want it”. Make sure you pick up some flowers for your girlfriend on the way home – then tell her how much your secretary was all over you but you turned her down because you’re in love. That fellow traders, is hedging in effect.
Now go trade, get paid and get laid!
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Being a full time trader is hard. We spend most of our lives trapped in front of our computers and debating economic trash, like the impact of Q1 GDP growth on a currency. So naturally, once the market is closed – we need to get out to the club and spend some quality time with the girls.
So our eyesight is so bad, our glasses are an inch thick. We’ve never seen the inside of a gym. No problem! Thanks to Twilight, all the girls love a skinny pale white guy. We’ve never had it so good!
Please feel free to share your own dating/trading tips!
Enjoy all -
For the single trader – out on a Friday after the market is closed
Having trouble picking up girls? Well, instead of trying to talk to that one cutie standing at the bar – It’s time to apply your trading skills! We all know it’s about consistent application of your strategy over time right? Now your strategy is as follows = 1. Approach girl 2. Smile 3. “Hey, how’s it going?”. Do that to enough girls in one night – You will bag one of them.
Don’t get caught out with analysis paralysis! If you’ve spotted a lovely young beauty, you need to get in there quick. Don’t stand around thinking about it! You’ll either get nervous, or she’ll catch you drooling. NOT a good first impression. Much like when you are trading. Does it fit your strategy? Yes? Get in there!
So you’ve managed to get talking, things are going well
Damn son, you are such a player – You got her back to your place! But wait – when you’ve gone to the fridge to break out another drink before you get your mack on – Your girl appears to have passed out on the sofa. She is too drunk! If you carry that in to your bedroom, you are going to find yourself with a rape charge. What did we learn in babypips? CUT YOUR LOSSES SHORT. Throw a blanket on her and sleep alone. Who knows…. she may respect that and you’ll be rewarded in the morning!
Perhaps you hit the dance floor, your dancing with both your friend groups nearby. Things are getting hot, but when you go in for the kiss, she’s pulling away. You don’t get it? Girls have this crazy belief that if her friends see her making out with a stranger in public, they will call her a slut. This may or may not be true – but an easy solution is to take her by the hand, casually move to the other side of the dancefloor where her friends can’t see – and you may get better results. THIS IS HOW TO LET YOUR PROFITS RUN!
For those traders with long term relationships – I bet you are position traders as well? Yup… pretty boring
You still need to keep on top of your dating game! You’ve got a lot of your margin tied up with your existing positions – they are going well, but don’t forget to hedge those! Relationships end. Is the secretary at your office young and supple? Send her some subtly flirty emails on the back of some work related chat – don’t talk about your girlfriend and there will be some sexual tension ready for that office party.
On the flip side, once you blow it with her (and the HR department) when you tell her “I can get you a promotion if you show me how much you want it”. Make sure you pick up some flowers for your girlfriend on the way home – then tell her how much your secretary was all over you but you turned her down because you’re in love. That fellow traders, is hedging in effect.
Now go trade, get paid and get laid!
.. 
You're not the type that talks the pants off a nun are you 