I'm crashed today.

No, playing with these two minis was worse than playing at casino

I had no system and I had no discipline, at that time this minis was not very important but I took them as credit from bank so it was money to worry about. LOL, I lied to credit officer that I wanted this money for repairing at home and purchasing freezer lool
So when I realized that this attitude will make me end up with loss I started learning and testing seriously, I became more careful and pesimistic, my first aim was not to gain but to protect my account from loss. I still believe that on forex professional trader's first target should be protect his own account from loss and then think of profits. So when I developed strict discipline and money management, then I started to develop my own system because i was not comfortable with systems invented by others, I tested them on DEMO and then I opened new live acc, I had no miracles but there was quite stable gain, I went on trading, I had many new findings, I was thinking of very risky systems, using high leverage but I only traded them on demo. I realized that this systems are not professional's systems, so I based on the systems which can bring stable profits and you now how much you can allow to lose before initiating trades.
I lost on second mini because I did not want to believe that I was wrong and market was right, I opened second account to revenge market, but I end up with huge loss, these two accounts tought how professionals do not trade
So doing oppisite meant trading like pro

I like this one 777..
I think I'm seeing some similarities with your attitude and Merlin... I just can't pinpoint what... Or maybe it's just me...

First of all, it is indeed TRUE that not everyone is cut to trade, just like not everyone is cut to be a designer because there are people who just dont have any artistic touch whatsoever.

Now, if that is not the case, you must understand that without discipline there is no trading success. Ever. I recommend you to start working on "Trading Plans": every day when you begin your trading session, scan the charts, spot the pairs that seem appealing for your trading system, and then elaborate a strict trade plan as of under what conditions will you exactly enter the trade, at what levels, what happens if we break this or that support/resistance level, what happens if news are dollar positive (or negative), etc.

A trading plan for the day is the best way to ensure you're following your own script and thus avoid trading on emotion.

You could try longer term trading. Like I mean wait until you have the opportunity to go into a new trend which may last for a month or longer that is if you're patient enough...