This should be funny... "before you new the trading talk"

This should be a funny thread and refer to the times when you were a noob and when browsing the forums, what you initially thought the technical terms that people use ment. I've heard a few good ones.

Here are mine from when I started trading stocks and later options, approximating back about 2 - 3 years ago:

'In a position': I imagined a footbal player ready to hike...

Level 2: I thought this was a fancy word for saying stocks doing really good, time to start monitoring the 'in position' procedures.

Margin call: I though you get a call from your broker with a guy on the phone who has a short (marginal) temper telling you your stupid for buying some kind of stock.

The market maker known as NITE(known for his manipulation): Thought this was a group of pumpers when manipulated stocks on the nasdaq.

Now here are some I've heard from other people I trade with:

A "gap" was usually fixed by your dentist...

"Head and Shoulders" was a sign for Dandruff shampoo...

"OS" meant Operating System...

An "Option" meant choices...

"Security" was who you made fun of in the Mall...

"forex" was a brand name...

"Stock" was what was on your shelf...

A "Split" usually involved a bananna and some ice cream...

"amex" referred to a credit card...

"Short" mean hieght..

I thought pink sheets were for when you got fired

OK these are a bit silly but they could happen if you don't use Google.

 

1. Spot price is how much a dog costs.
2. A spread is something you put on you sandwiches.(Think about what a bear spread or a bull spread would be made of.)
3. A pip is something you find in fruit.
4. A tic is a small blood sucking insect.
5. The book "Reminiscences of a Stock Operator " was about someone who worked in a store room.
6. CBOT was some form of robot.
7. A rally invloves racing cars.
8. The phrase "to cover your shorts" involved some sort of rip in your pants.
9. A margin call is when a tennis player fights with the umpire about which side of the line the ball landed.
10. The source for the word 'bull' involved how much 'bull' those inflating the market could produce to keep it going up.
11. The source for the word 'bear' involved a boring market so people just hibernated untill it got better. (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy fans will get this one)

Now for a real one:
Forex is a brand name. There is a beer in Australia called forex spelt XXXX. I did think the forex market was a place for selling beer!! (This was in high school)


Silver

http://i1.tinypic.com/nwld36.jpg

http://i1.tinypic.com/nwlekm.png

Getting inspired.

Maybe a brand of watch?

http://i1.tinypic.com/nwlq38.jpg

It's pronounced Four-X


http://www.australianbeers.com/beers...xx_bottles.jpg



Silver

I love the above!

Trader: What is a million years like to you?
Broker: Like one second.
Trader: What is a million dollars like to you?
Broker: Like one penny.
Trader: Can I have a penny?
Broker: Just a second ...
http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...ticons7/71.gif

OMG LOOOOOOOOOOL!

LOLOLOLOL

MMmmmm Beer. Alcohol, the cause and cure of all lifes problems. - Homer Simpson