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Looking for trading coach/mentor or accountability partner

  • #1
  • First Post: Oct 6, 2010 6:34am Oct 6, 2010 6:34am
Hi everybody,
I have been involved in forex for three years, blown some small, bigger, very big accounts. I have finally come to realize it's all about me. I mean, i did learn stuff, picked up some systems, generally know how to trade, but when i am in front of the trading station it all goes to pieces. I suddenly find myself taking too much risk, taking trades that i KNOW that i shouldn't take.

It's obvious to me that i need help. From a trading coach, a trading psychologist, a mentor or even an accountability partner ... But i don't know where to start. Do you have any ideas?
  • #2
  • Oct 6, 2010 7:03am Oct 6, 2010 7:03am
If you don't have it yet go get Trading in the Zone by Mark Douglas and study the book, dont just read it.

If you say you know the right thing to do but cant do it then it means you dont fully believe what you know intellectually yet. There should be no conflict internally from your actions and beliefs.

You must hold your own self accountable at all times. The money is yours, the account is yours, the profit are yours as well as the losses.

Before you blow another account take a look at your thoughts about the markets and how you react, replay it in your mind and I bet you will find yourself doing things that amaze you. You know you shouldnt do something like take a trade but your emotions are making you take the trade becasue of revenge, or you know you should close the trade in a small loss but your emotions are telling you to let it run because maybe it will come back, ask yourself why is that and you will find theres a conflict somewhere. The book above will help point you in the right direction.
  • #3
  • Oct 7, 2010 3:40pm Oct 7, 2010 3:40pm
Quoting mihaig78
Hi everybody,
I have been involved in forex for three years, blown some small, bigger, very big accounts. I have finally come to realize it's all about me. I mean, i did learn stuff, picked up some systems, generally know how to trade, but when i am in front of the trading station it all goes to pieces. I suddenly find myself taking too much risk, taking trades that i KNOW that i shouldn't take.

It's obvious to me that i need help. From a trading coach, a trading psychologist, a mentor or even an accountability partner ... But i don't know where...
I teach people how to trade successfully. I am known on the factory from the simple & consistent fibbing method thread. if you search the site for my thread "aswilled trading" you will receive instructions on how to go about it.
A. Finesse Williams Making Millions One Pip At A Time!
  • #4
  • Oct 7, 2010 6:11pm Oct 7, 2010 6:11pm
Quoting mihaig78
I suddenly find myself taking too much risk, taking trades that i KNOW that i shouldn't take.
You're right to understand that it is all about you, but I ask you to consider the fact that you may be trying to play tennis with a fishing rod. Is the information you are using suitable for the purpose of making money in the foreign exchange market? If so then why is is suitable for that purpose?

Regarding the quoted extract from your post: How do you know you shouldn't be taking some of the trades you take? Can you identify them before you place them? I doubt it.

I've asked others for handouts in the past, not saying that your asking for one here, but the point is that now I understand that if you have what it takes then you will get to where you want to be eventually. What is this 'what it takes' I speak of? It's mainly motivation and commitment of time.
Living the adventure in my head.
  • #5
  • Oct 7, 2010 6:21pm Oct 7, 2010 6:21pm
I wish you luck with finding a good mentor you may be one of those lucky enough to snag a good one!

But in the meantime rely on yourself. Watch the market and read the news. Immerse yourself in it.

And take Leon's wise words to heart.

Trading in the Zone and books like it are only useful to traders who have clearly defined and can reason out why they take trades and why these trades have a better chance of succeeding than failing.

If you are one of those traders you probably don't have psychological issues to begin with.

Don't mean to sound overly critical but just my humble opinion.

If the choices are does the trader have a psychological problem or does the trader not truly understand his edge then I'd probably choose the latter as the one causing the problems.
  • #6
  • Oct 7, 2010 8:43pm Oct 7, 2010 8:43pm
Quoting mihaig78
but when i am in front of the trading station it all goes to pieces. I suddenly find myself taking too much risk, taking trades that i KNOW that i shouldn't take.
from what I see, emotion is your main obstacle. You can try to trade micro lots (10cents/pip) .Try to trade very very small positions, that will get "the fear of loss" emotion of the way. Then, as you progress, you can increase your position size as you see fit. It sure will help you build up your confidence in yourself and your method.

Another way to get emotions out of the way is to trade a system!! This might sound obvious but all systems have this in common : strict rules. These rules are created to enter, exit, place SL etc... but essentially, to get the emotions out of the equation.

hope this helps!
  • #7
  • Oct 8, 2010 4:44am Oct 8, 2010 4:44am
Quoting bboyomega83
If you don't have it yet go get Trading in the Zone by Mark Douglas and study the book, dont just read it.

If you say you know the right thing to do but cant do it then it means you dont fully believe what you know intellectually yet. There should be no conflict internally from your actions and beliefs.

You must hold your own self accountable at all times. The money is yours, the account is yours, the profit are yours as well as the losses.

[font=Comic Sans MS]Before...
Thank you for your reply. I've read the book more than once. And The Disciplined Trader.
  • #8
  • Oct 8, 2010 4:53am Oct 8, 2010 4:53am
Quoting Leonlorenzo
You're right to understand that it is all about you, but I ask you to consider the fact that you may be trying to play tennis with a fishing rod. Is the information you are using suitable for the purpose of making money in the foreign exchange market? If so then why is is suitable for that purpose?

Regarding the quoted extract from your post: How do you know you shouldn't be taking some of the trades you take? Can you identify them before you place them? I doubt it.

I've asked others for handouts in the past, not saying that your asking...
Yes, i know, motivation and time. It's like anything else: diet, working out, commitment to success. And like anything else, there will always be blocks along the way. And this is my issue.

Looking back on my forex adventures, my first mistake was that i started trading without a clue. After the initial disaster, i got a clue, but my system was not tested. And the second disaster followed. All these left marks.

I was/am also trading with huge financial and psychological pressures behind me which also made me ignore money management.

I am not sure if i am making too much sense. Somewhere from all this, i got the idea that maybe i need some structured practice/coaching which will provide accountability, support, feedback - just like any other coach.

"How do you know you shouldn't be taking some of the trades you take? Can you identify them before you place them? I doubt it."

I was referring simply to not following a system, breaking rules. Were you asking if this system is tested with a proven edge?
  • #9
  • Oct 8, 2010 4:55am Oct 8, 2010 4:55am
Quoting Deusomega
I wish you luck with finding a good mentor you may be one of those lucky enough to snag a good one!

But in the meantime rely on yourself. Watch the market and read the news. Immerse yourself in it.

And take Leon's wise words to heart.

Trading in the Zone and books like it are only useful to traders who have clearly defined and can reason out why they take trades and why these trades have a better chance of succeeding than failing.

If you are one of those traders you probably don't have psychological issues to begin with.

Don't mean...
Looking back, i tend to agree with you. I think that most of all, the cause of all my troubles would be not having a true tested system, clear edge. That and some external pressures that i shouldn't have taken with me while trading. Thank you for your input.
  • #10
  • Oct 8, 2010 5:02am Oct 8, 2010 5:02am
Quoting mihaig78
Thank you for your reply. I've read the book more than once. And The Disciplined Trader.
if emotion or lack of discipline is the culprit, i would suggest using EA.

if your expectation is to gain ~10 to 20% per month ,based on USD1000, and willing to take risk, i may have solution for you with my free EA.

P.M me.
  • #11
  • Oct 8, 2010 5:04am Oct 8, 2010 5:04am
Quoting Datum
from what I see, emotion is your main obstacle. You can try to trade micro lots (10cents/pip) .Try to trade very very small positions, that will get "the fear of loss" emotion of the way. Then, as you progress, you can increase your position size as you see fit. It sure will help you build up your confidence in yourself and your method.

Another way to get emotions out of the way is to trade a system!! This might sound obvious but all systems have this in common : strict rules. These rules are created to enter, exit, place SL etc... but essentially,...
here are my two problems:
1. i am impatient. i can't trade micro lots. i always think ahead, projecting my equity curve into the future, thinking of the day when i will do nothing but trade and relax ... you know the picture. i just can't stick to now. i know it's wrong, i've looked into how can i change these patterns yet somehow i am back to square one. i can't sustain new behaviors.
2. i am a smoker. i know all the reasons why i shouldn't smoke yet first thing in the morning i light up. i know i should eat healthy, yet every other day i slip into junk food, even though i make a promise i won't. i know i should exercise and vow to, but i haven't been to a gym in more than a year. i know that by risking more than 2% i increase the emotional heat and i know that by adding to a loser trade and going way over my risk i increase my chances of a disaster ... yet I STILL DO IT.

i am pretty confused and don't know where to start shedding some light.
  • #12
  • Oct 8, 2010 5:08am Oct 8, 2010 5:08am
Quoting mihaig78
Hi everybody,
I have been involved in forex for three years, blown some small, bigger, very big accounts. I have finally come to realize it's all about me. I mean, i did learn stuff, picked up some systems, generally know how to trade, but when i am in front of the trading station it all goes to pieces. I suddenly find myself taking too much risk, taking trades that i KNOW that i shouldn't take.

It's obvious to me that i need help. From a trading coach, a trading psychologist, a mentor or even an accountability partner ... But i don't know where...


Hi Mihaig

Start with yourself mate........but these two things might help.


What does the word patience mean?
`Patience emphasizes calmness, self-control, and the willingness or ability to tolerate delay.
I personally like the part where it says – ability to tolerate delay. That’s the secret of trading – to tolerate delay and wait for the market to come to you.
What does the word discipline mean?
DISCIPLINE (noun)
The noun DISCIPLINE has 5 senses:
1. a branch of knowledge
2. a system of rules of conduct or method of practice
3. the trait of being well behaved
4. training to improve strength or self-control
5. the act of punishing
Familiarity information: DISCIPLINE used as a noun is common.
• DISCIPLINE (verb)
The verb DISCIPLINE has 2 senses:
1. train by instruction and practice; especially to teach self-control
2. punish in order to gain control or enforce obedience


Why did you need to know the definition of these two words?


A system is useless if you don’t have patience and discipline. I can give you the best system in the world that makes other people plenty of money, but if you as an individual don’t have the discipline or the patience to trade the system, I will guaranty you, as a trader you will not be successful. These two factors will be the key to your success as a trader.

Regards

Wild Dog



  • #13
  • Oct 8, 2010 5:11am Oct 8, 2010 5:11am
You don't sound confused at all... just lack commitment. If you want it bad enough, you'll drop the destructive behavior. No mentor needed for this.
  • #14
  • Oct 8, 2010 12:30pm Oct 8, 2010 12:30pm
I see you know yourself very well, which is a good thing. You also acknowledge that there is a problem somewhere, which is another good thing. You asking for help is another step forward.

You say you are impatient, so am I. Waiting in line just kills me sometimes. But there is a difference between waiting in line for a coffee and waiting in line to go see a rock concert. My patience has it's limits like everybody, but when it is "worth it", like waiting in line for a rock concert, my patience suddenly gets more "flexible". What if you trade micro lots for say, 3 months and then move to mini and so on would that motivate you? All self-made millionaires started somewhere, can that be you? I am sure it can.
  • #15
  • Oct 9, 2010 4:13am Oct 9, 2010 4:13am
Quoting Slack
You don't sound confused at all... just lack commitment. If you want it bad enough, you'll drop the destructive behavior. No mentor needed for this.
agree.....

it's "said" that tesla as a youth would turn down desert at dinner ..... keep in mind he lived in a time that desert was truely a rare treat......

he did this to improve his self control and no other reason.....

//---
//---

accountability partner ..... what a neat term...... can't ever recall hearing it before but it sounds productive......

there are real deal forex trading groups around, or a new one could be started..... some meet every week or month just to kick ideas around and help each other......

a couple such as the los angeles and toronto groups appear to be 100% devoted to success.....

//---
//---


given the chance at over coming a single self destructive habit or making two 500 pip wins in a row, there is no doubt which would be my first choice......

with 500 pips being a close second runner up of course......h
to trade and code, keep both simple... no call to impress....h
  • #16
  • Oct 11, 2010 5:48am Oct 11, 2010 5:48am
Thank you all for your input.
Hayseed and slack ... you are both right. And i know it's true. Lack of focus, giving in to distractions, not putting in the effort, indulging, not having a clear why ... all translate to lack of commitment. To expecting unearned results, "quick fixes".

I always distract myself with anything that comes my way, be it having coffee with a friend, drinking, snacking ... instead of putting in the effort. I do snap out of it rarely when the guilt or pain gets too big, only to relapse a day later. There are two false beliefs affecting most of the people:
1. Success comes overnight (see all the people playing lottery).
2. Change needs only a thrust and then it will be self sustained.

Of course given the background of every individual, the strength of these beliefs will vary.

I admit that i am plagued by both of these. I have often tried to change but failed to sustain my change. Failed to persist, to guard myself of the relapse. And i have also often started towards the path of success looking at the shiny lights ahead but tiring after only few steps and essentially giving up, turning my head towards other shiny lights which seemed closer, easier to reach.

There is no other way. No shortcut. Either i do what needs to be done, or accept the results i get.

Why is it so hard? Because of weak self discipline and maybe a lack of vision, of the why that would sustain me.

This is less an answer but rather an introspection looking to understand ...
  • #17
  • Dec 7, 2010 7:50pm Dec 7, 2010 7:50pm
Quoting mihaig78
Hi everybody,
I have been involved in forex for three years, blown some small, bigger, very big accounts. I have finally come to realize it's all about me. I mean, i did learn stuff, picked up some systems, generally know how to trade, but when i am in front of the trading station it all goes to pieces. I suddenly find myself taking too much risk, taking trades that i KNOW that i shouldn't take.

It's obvious to me that i need help. From a trading coach, a trading psychologist, a mentor or even an accountability partner ... But i don't know where...
prop shop...
  • #18
  • Dec 8, 2010 3:23am Dec 8, 2010 3:23am
Quoting domino
prop shop...
I'm not familiar at all how these work. Since i have no consistent/reliable track record, i assume i have to put up my own capital and have them supervise me?
  • #19
  • Dec 8, 2010 4:45am Dec 8, 2010 4:45am
Quoting mihaig78
I'm not familiar at all how these work. Since i have no consistent/reliable track record, i assume i have to put up my own capital and have them supervise me?
yeah a good one will teach you how to trade and constantly monitor you.. i would go and read reviews first cause theyll all pretty much take you.. a good one will tell u when and why you made a shitty trade.. and help you with your thinking..
  • #20
  • Dec 8, 2010 6:57pm Dec 8, 2010 6:57pm
Guys,

I just stumbled upon this thread and let me tell you that after a year of belonging to the largest prop rooom in the country I believe, the guy didnt scam us with hidden fees and rules to get paid like most prop shps, he just went out of business and blamed it on his partner for stealing the money! I will just give you his initials. O.V. Proprietary trading firms be they Forex or stocks or futures are like taking a match to your money in my opinion.

Who is regulating them? No one from what I can see! There arent even investigations into all the ones that just took all the members/clients money and went out of business! It is like the wild, wild west right now. Sort of like penny stocks in the 1940's and 50's. My guess: When prop shops realize 95% of their traders are going to lose all their money, they will just book the trades themselves and take it all anyway rather than bother to put in the effort to make them professionals. Or as in my case, just go out of business and blame some silent partner located in Nowhere, USA.

I suspect Forex is going to have some major scams coming down the pike that will eventually require federal level investigation. My advice to anyone needing coaching and handholding in Forex is join a good chat room if the monthly fee is reasonable and trade your own account. I know of 2 off hand. But Im not here to advertise my opinions. I know many people on this forum will think paying for a chatroom is a waste of money, but if you get in with a guy who is truly profitable, you can really learn to discipline yourself quicker and decrease your learning curve by what you describe of your personality. I admit that even in the prop room that closed down on me, I waas starting to lear some really heavy stuff from the moderators and it would have been worth the 10k I got clipped just to stay in the chat room another year. Some chat rooms are priceless, some are garbage and most are mediocre. And BTW....not all prop programs even have chat rooms. Why not try to get a free trial in 2 or 3 rooms and see what fits your personality best?
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