Money Management is everything

Luca: The President of The Rat and Parrot Forex Club has asked you to cease posting
pictures of your garbage indicator.

Me: How is Forex Freddie ? Has he worked out how to put a Gartley 222 Pattern on his charts yet ?

Luca: He says that you do not believe in indicators and that you are merely satirising the behaviour of naive
forex traders in a cruel fashion.

Me: There's only one answer to that..................

Welcome back. Please specify TP/SL, and R:R. Oh, and TE. Can you share your template?

Luca: I see you still playing around with your garbage indicator that is an affront to all decent money losing forex traders.

Me: It is a lagging indicator, no better and no worse than hundreds of other lagging indicators.

Luca: I think that it can predict the future..........it is highly accurate at predicting the trades that I am about to take

Luca: Are Daily Charts any better than 5 minute charts ?

Me: Dunno mate. However, I have always worked on the basis that if you use daily charts you tend to lose all of your money at a more
leisurely pace than you do with a five minute chart.
Luca: Why ?

Me: I find that there are so many more account busting "set ups" on a fast moving chart. If you combine this fact with the sad fact that
most of us are hell bent on contributing to the save the brokers fund.................

Take a look at the chart below, there are three possible entries in quick succession.

Me: I don't know if I have mentioned this before but life at the cutting edge of technical analysis is not always easy.
I have therefore decided to simplify my trading activities, and have a bit of fun.
I am going to dig out my trusty two pence coin.......and revert to being a tosser.

Luca: If you ask me you 've always been a bit of a t..........

Me: Enough !

Mrs Mission control has sent me a cease and desist. Harry Potter would call it a howler.

I am banned from self identifying as a tosser.

In future when discussing my state of the art two pence coin system , we will refer to "flipping" a coin.

I have placed s small amount of drinking vouchers in a live account.

I will be risking very small lot sizes on each trades, so the equity should remain static.

At this point I am counting pips only , not profit. At this point this is an experiment not a quest for glory.

On day one we took ten random trades and I closed them all this morning. We are now up by 93 pips.

GBPCHF made a pretty picture on the 5 minute chart today.

Todays CHFJPY 5 minute chart.

Is the one minute chart worth bothering with ?

Luca: Have you heard of "aspirational marketing ". I think it was invented by a famous forex course seller called Pecker.

Me How does it work?

Luca: Well this Greg Pecker takes videos of himself standing on the White House Lawn, or the hanging 'round the Gardens of
Babylon, or him sipping tea by Taj Mahal at Dawn.
And it makes me think...……... if only I bought one of his FX courses I too could dine at the Taj Mahal ( obviously not at dawn …and the one in the high street is a bit dodgy).

Me: He obviously loves 10cc , so he must be a man of wealth and taste........clearly he is trustworthy....tell me more.

Luca: Aspirational marketing must be very profitable...….I think that Greg has bought YouTube.

Me: What makes you say that ?

Luca: Well every time I try to watch a video on YouTube up pops Greg...…...usually shirtless . If he didn't own YouTube there would be no way that he
would be allowed to pop up in the middle of every single video on the channel.

Me: I think I know who you mean, he wears Elton John's cast off glasses and he never wears a shirt.

Luca: He comes across as a really nice bloke. Yesterday when he popped up in the middle of a video I was watching he was really exited because he has
worked out how to give me 10,000 worth of trading funds...........no need for me to risk my own money............what a great bloke!

Luca: Greg is so rich that he has a luxurious room where he keeps some of his his push bikes. He likes to sneak off to this room and shoot topless
videos of himself.

He then posts these Videos on YouTube or Greg Tube as it is now called.

The funny thing is he starts the video by saying oops you 've caught me in my bike room.

Do you think that I should tell him that if it's privacy he's after........don't go to your posh shed with a video recorder and then make your video
appear in front of every forex trader on the planet ..............hundreds of times every day.

Me: So you bought one of his courses.

Luca: Yes, Greg is my hero..........and I have always wanted to hang push bikes on the wall.

Me: I was watching you tube today and Greg Pecker suddenly popped up WITH A SHIRT ON !


Luca: Are you sure that it was him ?


Me: Yeah, because when he repeatedly says the word "NOW" it sounds like a cat saying meow.

I don't know if I have mentioned it before but life at the cutting edge of coin flipping
is not always a bed of roses.

Today I am in my study trying to trade the forex markets, however my visitor is distracting me.

My visitor is a fish and chip shop worker who is wearing Elton John Glasses and no shirt. He keeps pronouncing
the word "now" like a cat meowing.

He keeps asking me if I am jealous of YouTube forex gurus.

I need to get away from it all...…………. I think I'll check out what's new on GregTube

Luca: You have two trades open which in effect bet on the Yen going up.
Is that wise taking in to account the fact that Flash Manufacturing PMI and Flash Services PMI will be published in the next hour.
If they are favourable to The U.S. you could get annihilated.

Also, do you not think that considering that the CADJPY follows the USDJPY quite closely you have doubled your exposure to a weak Yen.
Clearly you are betting on a B.O.J. intervention in the short term, don't you think that you are jumping the gun ?

Me: WHAT ! .....who the heck !...……. oh no don't tell me.
I will NOT be removing my coin inspired trades. I don't care how much I lose.

P.S. I wonder what B.O.J. means, quite frankly it sounds a bit rude to me.

The USDJPY went up after the news.

Me: Some of us were pleased to see the USDJPY drop down a bit today.

Luca: Yeah, because you finally managed to escape from the most clueless trade of the year ! Greg Pecker would never have
made such a dumb money mistake.



P.S I have probably never mentioned this before, but my mate Luca smells of fish.



P.P.S I bet Greg smells of the worlds most expensive aftershave............he would.

Prop Trading. Why do you think that some big brokers are getting involved ?



Me: I think that there was a big board meeting at a big forex broker.
Luca: Are you making this up ?
Me: The big boss tells the other suits .....""we have thousands of customers with tiny live accounts making us tiny amounts of money.
On the other hand we have millions of demo account customers who do not make us any money at all."
Luca: Sounds about right.
Me: Then one of the suits ( a genius ) says why don't we get the demo account holders to PAY US for their demo account...….
and when they blow it up, we say to them you can have another go if you like. Obviously you'll have to pay us again , but it's ok
we'll give you a discount on the second demo.
Luca: And they all fell about laughing ! ?

So how did the brokers get the dumb money to pay for their demo account ?





Me: It was easy, they told them that if they met various criteria they could keep some of the "profit" that they earned in their "pretend" account.

Luca: That sounds brilliant to me.

Me: So all the demo traders went out and bought over priced Expert Advisers to pass the prop test.

They inevitably failed to meet one of the cunning, small print rules and then they lost the account and their money....and
then what did the poor demo traders do ?


Luca: I would try again.

What does "snow-blind mean " ?


Me: It's a temporary loss of sight caused by the glare of light reflected by a large expanse of snow ...….or Greg Pecker's teeth.


Luca: Yeah, I have had to turn down the brightness when I am viewing GregTube ( previously YouTube).