400:1 account Balance 230 (-8%) Equity 100 (-60%)
500:1 account Balance 830 (+3%) Equity 647 (-20%)
I have large locked losses in short positions, in both accounts. Margin levels at 267% and 323% respectively.
Monday I made a little money.
Tuesday I correctly identified the start of the up swing and closed near the top, but was in light, increased lightly, took out part profit early.
Wednesday I failed too reenter long; was waiting too low and then was away from the computer. Then was short before the start of the second up thrust, exited in time but failed to reverse. I messed up a little in the contracted action mid session between conflicting positions. In the end I correctly identified the up swing as finished and I shorted the last up thrust right at the top! Light position and didn't ride it to the fullest extent.
Thursday I was losing money in that major correction mid up swing, before realizing I should Buy Low and Sell High. Recovered some money but was in too heavy, had a short bias and failed to reverse when it continued up. A bit of hedging and averaging at the top erased part of the losses, and went flat. Then I was too tired, left the computer and completely missed the down swing. Why didn't I reverse??
Friday was rawest amateur play; I started session with a short bias and kept shorting as it went up. Far too heavily and frequently. At one point I was under 100% margin level in the lower leverage account and with massive losses. Then this happened; I relaxed. I thought: "Screw this! It's only a game". I more calmly started BLSH again, I closed out some losing shorts with winning shorts, reducing the exposure. At the same time I was hedging and trying to match the net position. The week results may seem a catastrophe, but actually it's a vast improvement over the worst of Friday's. EDIT Two weeks ago, following a similar bout of stupidity I was at -80% loss and close to the 50% Broker Stop Out. Closed hours later with a +30% on account. I consider handling such events, good practice. Of course if in between such events I were to be able to book and withdraw a +1000%, it would be workable.
Analysis
I confirmed that I can correctly identify the start of major swings. It happened multiple times in the past few weeks. Only once was I able to enter heavy and I didn't even fully ride it.
I trade stupidly mid corrections.
I too quickly find myself too heavy without good reason.
Twice I only stopped out when I should have reversed. I recognized live that there was opposite potential! When I don't recognize the potential I keep the position, averaging and eventually hedge it, reduce etc. That's what I did Friday (poorly, at first). When I stop, it is because I am scared of the potential I see in the ensuing move, I should instead reverse x10.
Friday deserves deeper thought. Carrying the position, managing it averaging and hedging. There is a right way of doing it. It involves BLSH better monitor the rise in risk, and promptly recovering the correct reading of PA to know when to do what. If the standing position allows it I increase exponentially. I try to close lowest price winner with most distant in price (biggest losing) positions. It's the right way, it's just that I should do it at the right PA situation, the reading of which, at least in the immediate is off, otherwise I wouldn't be in that situation in the first place! This raises the question of how quickly I can recover the correct view and whether it wouldn't be better to lock it right away, hedging, and then handle it when hold on PA has been recovered...
€250 in a 400:1 account, with the minimum position being 1% of account, may not be enough to manage a position. I could use a reliable 1000:1 broker. Let me know if you know of any.
I should cut myself some slack. What I am trying to master is the hardest form of trading under far from ideal conditions even on a personal level and due to other distractions.
I should drop one of the two accounts. Activtrades has lower hedged position margins and Swaps. Admiral Markets has higher leverage (that's a good and prudent thing), a bit narrower spreads, their MT5 is not on my local time, I want to look better at their SE order management functions. EDIT Swaps are around 25% higher with Activtrades than with Admiral Markets.
Next week, 30th of 2020.
Monday I expect price to go down below Friday's low. I have to handle significant locked floating losses on both accounts.
Developments
I am buying a new monitor, UHD (3840x2160) to replace the current 1920x1080 television monitor of the poorest imaginable image quality, and since a few weeks ago, 3 pixel columns burned out.
I downloaded an EA that gives me the totals of Buy and Sell positions and the volume weighed average price of buys and sells. Until now I had to keep track of all that mentally on both accounts.
I am working on my chart reading skills. Even though my issues are with mind and technique. To a certain extent I've proven that the two are interconnected. Balanced emotional state allows improved technique and better results give confidence improving emotional state.
I carried over from the weekend significant locked losses on both accounts (-60% and -20%). I was up from Asia start.
Price action opened down and went up. I did not expect the new high. My scenario was wrong.
As session went on I gradually regained a hold on PA, but on the 400:1 account by then I completely lacked maneuvering space. When you have a massive locked loss you have to be absolutely right about entries. And I wasn't; I shorted the first up swing. Even when I anticipated a move high from the day's low, I expected it to be a retr.
I recovered the 500:1 account in the down from the day's highs. By then I didn't have margin to do the same on the other.
400:1 account -99%
500:1 account -99% after reaching +150% in four weeks.
Tuesday. I missed the start of the up swing. It was a classic contraction and breakout down, then up. I didn't correctly identify it as such, live. I did notice the way they dealt with the trendline, minutes later, apparent holding, a few ups and downs to accumulate the predictable shorts, quick dash down to signal down and thrust up. I noticed the action live but failed to react. Also I was in chat with broker support. Minutes of hesitation, then I get long. It would take me even longer to close the locked shorts I had senselessly built up from the contraction swings earlier. At least the entries were properly positioned albeit with too much hesitation, again. Nice floating profit offsetting the SL.
Today. Yesterday I didn't get any sleep. I make the mistake of exiting the longs, ahead of the predicted retr. I position myself heavy short close to the top. Nice. After a few minutes of pleasure everything goes wrong. I track too close the price adding to the short and I fail to take profits (>100% on account) when presented and fail to hedge or go long. When the first retr, come I am already underwater. I fail to recognize in time the ensuing short stops running and when I do I don't even turn, but I hedge instead. By then I was already bleeding. When the thrust up comes I am not even net long.
I do something right with my hedged position. I close the longs and I manage to pull up the shorts average price as market moves towards me. We meet halfway. I fail to hedge or go long, Again! I had the chance having nearly completely closed the gap. But I don't because I am still biased short.
A few more minutes and the accounts are gone.
Analysis.
Those two days, with 500:1 there was a 1000% profit on the table. I am not good enough for that. Not when I'm half asleep. Not when I'm chatting. Not when I get stuck mid corrections. Not in the way I hesitate and fail to give the appropriate response to the signs that I actually do see and recognize. I need to scale back on my wild ambitions and focus on playing it right.
On the 28th I get the new UHD monitor; that should improve my chances by 0.1%, less fiddling between charts. The remaining 99.9 is me.
New accounts opened.
EDIT. Expectations built up is what prevents interpreting and reacting to signs against a scenario. I spent hours fixating on a scenario and then... I've become fixated, of course. That is how I missed five opportunities to exit with a massive gain and ended up with nothing.
The hesitating comes down to lack of experience, confidence, being tired and distracted.
