Journey to consistency

As of next monday I'll commence my live trades so I thought I'd go through few things and look back on "expectations"

Am I ready to go live ?

Although my results have recently found some form of consistency I am ready to go live, I do have confidence in myself and my method that I will not blow up my account and will continue to make consistent gains daily/weekly/monthly.

As for expectations I think it is part of the success formula to set a realistic goal and not simply pull up a number out of thin air which I used to indulge in pretty often up until very recently. Setting realistic expectations do help from keeping yourself in the lane towards the bigger goal and refrain from overtrading/revenge trading. So how will I set the expectation ? this will depend mostly on your trading style/method but I have came to conclude that I'll settle with 25pips per day backed up from past data and my method, I previously aimed at 30pips but if you look at my TE out of the last 6,7 trades the best I've done was 25pips, now this doesn't mean that I can't earn 30pips , 30pips is very doable but for now to be realistic I do think its better to pick 25pips per day than 30pips just because I haven't been able to hit that thus far but I'll try harder but let's not put too much pressure 25pips at 1lot is still 1.5% per day, it's a lot so I really shouldn't be greedy.

Average trade duration is 25min, so I'll have to work 1h per day, I start my day at Frankfurt a little more than 1h and I will try to hit it every single trading day, may sound impossible but nothing is impossible if you can imagine it and I only will be trading and mastering a single slot *I've found my niche* so this shouldn't be too hard to achieve. Single entry per day.

Happy weekends.

Do I feel "ready" ?
Yes !



It's good to see consecutive greens after years of reds the first image is from my last "live account" I mean 2 dead accounts , gain is at -99.9% monthly average -42% I lost 61% of the time so I guess I've made a "lot of" progress since my last blown account which was almost 6-8months ago and on the way to consistency and hopefully profitability.

I can't count how many times I wanted to quit, I still can't believe "this is it" am I dreaming ? I still feel uncertainty, I don't know if this is normal and yet I do believe in my method and myself that I won't mess it up like I did. This is all very new to me. But what has this journal taught me is that "consistency" indeed is possible. I was starting to lose faith. Constant pressure from family was very real and stressful. And while I don't feel "that excited" about the amount of $$ I can make I can't wait to show them the balance sheet each month.

You deserve to win this battle.
Good luck! Sincerely.

Thanks Brixen !

I'll have to rely on your journal (even more) for holidays, expirations dates and for any surprises as it affects my positions

so much has happened since the Frankfurt open and yet I stayed flat all throughout the slot.

do I feel bad that had missed out on so much ?

"just a tiny bit"

but if I consider how much I could have lost I don't feel all too bad.

the conditions were a little too tricky for me to trade my usual method and since I was supposed to trade a live account the pressure was elevated to an all new highs.

when I missed the "optimum entry" point I was tempted to go long at a higher level , but I held down my temptations and stuck with my rules.

rules are rules.

they will keep me in the game.

will I trade these types of scenarios in the future ? I probably will but not today.

Mar 5

FLAT

Mar 6

+6.3pips

Now I see what people mean by the difference between demo and live. I keep hesitating to pull the trigger. So I missed the optimal entry. I'm not as brave and as confident as I was and I need to bring that back if I really want to keep doing this thing. We'll get better day by day. Nowhere near 30pips a day target but I'm definitely not going to push myself to overtrade or revenge trade. That part is well under control, a major contributing factor to my previous blown up accounts.

Trading is hard. And I constantly question myself "what did I get myself into", "why couldn't do something easier" ? "why do I always have to choose to do things that are difficult challenging and with 0% of guarantee that I'll ever succeed if could answer to all of those I probably would be doing something else by now. But this is the path that my heart desired, and I can't betray my inner voice. But of course if I keep failing and failing there'll have to come a day where I have to conclude enough is enough. Journey going forward although I have found some form of consistency on demo , live account is a whole another beast ! I traded live accounts, blown 2 but never was I this nervous this careful and this fearful ,maybe the emotional damage has been done and the scars that are left is going to haunt me until the end, as long as I keep on trading. To go on with full capacity I must have a conviction that "I can trade" that "I won't blow up my account" that I won't dig myself a DD that I can not recover 99% even 15% is going to have a huge emotional impact. This is what I chose to do, I chose to fight so please "fear" to get yourself under control. I don't need you to control over me .

I don't think it gets easier at all, maybe less nerve racking but easy ? dream on !

+ another crucial point that I've recently discovered was that "I have pay close attention to my gut feeling, inner voice" usually when an optimal entry is established I trade 2m so I have to be quick I get this how do I explain a very silent alert that this is it, I kept missing them the previous 2 trading days. This is by all no means some kind of black magic or voodoo it's just that after thousands of hours spent scanning the charts of a single instrument with a single method you just develop a feel for things. I need to listen to that faint voice very carefully. I need full concentration and have to be in full capacity physically. If I'm not feeling it don't trade. But I only trade 1-2 hours a day and only 30min is spent on trading. So I should be working everyday if possible.

Mar 07

-24.5pips

DD -1.14%

I'm not going to ramble on about I could have and should have.

Conditions are getting slightly hazardous since I started trading live. What I have understood from last few trading days is that when the gap is humongous and when during Frankfurt abnormally large moves occur with great volatility "I STAY OUT" as I trade with no physical SL and relatively small account.

When conditions are stable I will trade. And this is probably going to be the last chance I'll give myself. This account.

I made 2 entries today first entry was way too below and the second was right at the open as I am rambling its hitting 30pips would have recovered my loss but did I have the stomach to hold it through ? NOPE.

You see I still have a long way to go.... mentally.

I have a bad feeling to trade DAX under these condition with the same lot size and same level of anxiousness without a physical SL.

I'll have a look at GJ tomorrow, I have my plan for GJ as I was also testing a method before I decided to stick with DAX. I know it's too early to make anything conclusive. But I can't help but think maybe I'm better off with GJ on a live account ?

I used to think GJ was maniac but compared to DAX GJ's maniacs is nothing and goes easy on my account even with 1lot on 2m I can actually put a physical SL to put my mind at ease. So that's what's on my mind. I know I have to take the right measures if I want to see positive improvements. And so many people are "waiting" to see me fail. Time is running it doesn't care if I lose, take a break etc. So I have to be prompt and act quick to make the most of everything. I have to do this.

I have decided that I'll keep my lot size to 0.05 until I recover the -1.14% DD. I also will trade GJ as I can keep my loss minimal at 10pips and actually put a physical SL. If I keep on going with DAX I'm going to blow up my account in no time. I can foresee the danger. Don't think I can stomach another blown up account regardless of the account size. I have to do things smarter now.

If I do well on 3 consecutive trades I can recover my loss and once the recovery is there I will increase the lot size back to 0.1. Even with 0.1 my loss is capped at 0.5% per trade so 0.05lot should be good for now until I recover out of drawdown.

Major improvement since I took a long break from live to demo and now back to live I'm not "tempted" to take on too many trades or acting out of my emotions. I am following the plan and being disciplined. That in itself is a great improvement.

Mar 08

-9.5pips

GJ 0.05lot.

Discipline buddy that's a good way to go, since the market is a tempting place with trade setups all over the show.

With your discipline try to stick to 1 currency pair and know it like the back of your hand when its dark.

Once you've accomplished this with patience, persistence and progress, then you on your way to the North side.

I am using this same approach if it's not working for me buy the end of next week, then I will post and say that these 3 words have't been working for me lol let's hope not.

Regards

Let's come back by the end of next week and see if it worked

Mar 09

-14.2pips

Mar 05 - Mar 09


6 trades total
2 winners
4 losers

DD -1.5%

while the conditions were "very" volatile for DAX the first few trading days at the beginning of this week where my method failed to function properly I also think I need to take a good look at my method, and see if I "really had an edge". Yes doubts are circulating closer to the brim but I don't think it's the end to it all. Maybe I need to go over 1,2 things and polish what I already had.

Mar 12

21.9pips

trading DAX on a reduced lot until I recover last week's losses and regain my confidence in my method. I was aiming for 30pips but I accidentally closed it off at 21.9pips.

We're getting there.

on the weekends I went on about changing my method (which was a silly thought experiment and if done could have set me back to where I was 4 years ago) I may be better off leaving trading altogether if I had decided to change course again because in reality I just don't have the time to dedicate everything to it any longer. I'm under deadline or time pressure to make it happen sounds silly but at some point I just have slap myself and have a hard talk with myself.

in the past I've meddled with many systems and method but never really had the discipline to stay with 1 and polish what I've already had. I kept jumping from 1 to another. And I had that same nagging voice through the weekends. But like I said I just don't have too much time on my hands to go on about the studies, since I have finally found something that works (I just needed some polishing) why throw it away ?So I'm expecting things to get back to normal like I was on demo.

by the end of this week if all things go as per plan I should recover from the DD and get back to where I was and from there on depending on how I did and how I feel I'll decide if I should get back to the lot size I was trading.

done for the day will be back tomorrow.