Reading PeterCaleb's thread (https://www.forexfactory.com/thread/...ng-and-trading) while ago, he reminded me of the protagonist from Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche. Zarathustra is calling out for a man who can create his own value, as all values of the past have been already lost. Seems to me Peter is calling out for a man who can think for himself, not participating in the somewhat hive mentality amongst the majority. Peter, if any of it I have got wrong, please correct me.
What I am starting to see, there's no point in just acquiring information. There's no point in reading, following others, even thinking without freely chosen goal of learning how to apply information, reading, following and thinking into the real world. I think this is the true definition of "knowledge", or "to have knowledge" - to see something abstract, make understanding of how it is related to the world and how it works, and then make actual use of that information in the real world.
What I think is nobody can be a trader unless he can think for himself, extract information from the world around and be able to apply that information back, be an actual grown up with responsibilities and character and on top of that - be constantly aware and improve as he goes.
In analogy, I think the Forex Factory on it's own would be something like visiting a food court in a major shopping mall. Mature visitor would overlook the scenery and think: "There is a lot of fastfoods. I know they would poison me sooner or later. I see a lot of unhealthy people eating in these fastfoods, yet claiming they eat healthy and do things which benefits their health, or outrightly claim they are healthy. I don't see any value for me here. But - I see there's a new restaurant over there! I can try it and see for myself what good can be inside for me. Food looks tasty, looks nutritious, and after tasting, it really is delicious and nutrient-dense. What is it made of? Could I do it for myself at home?"
And then the mature visitor would go home, reverse engineer that food and make it at home for himself. Mature trader would do the same with anything he finds here - discard 95% of apparent bullshit and mold the useful rest for himself to use.
But it's just one side of the connection between the trading and the real world. The opposite direction of it is true as well. What I am doing in real life will be imprinted in what I am doing in trading. Because if I am irresponsible with my duties as a family member, I will be irresponsible with my account as well. If I don't tend to details in my job, I will don't tend to details when papertrading or making notes of what I see on the chart. If I have any trouble with substance abuse, I will have trouble refraining myself from impulsive clicking and jumping from thing to thing.
I think succesful trading is mostly psychology, but for the very different reason. We can think of trading edge as of something that repeatedly brings more value than it loses. Making of trading edge can be "just" iterating a simple process:
- observe what is happening until I start to see patterns
- think why these patters exists, what is their rationale behind and why they work the way I see them work
- support the patterns that brings value
- cut the patterns that kills value
I think trading is so hard for so many people because we only seek a technical edge in the chart, completely oblivious to the fact that we are our own edge. Technical edge shoudn't be that hard to find, and to hell with that - I can start to see tradable patterns just after few hours of watching the speedy charts in simulator like FxBlue. But these patterns will stop working one day - and I need to be able to find them again and again and again. And not only - I need to be able to judge them, quantify them where applicable, use them in real trading, capitalise on them and then judge them again.
It's like with music - almost anybody with determination and skill can write a top-charting hit song and be successful for a while, even though doing that is insanely hard, but only the real musician can write a hit song after hit song and be able to perform that song live. He know how he did it, and he will need that knowledge in the future.
There's no point in learning how to trade, because I need to learn how to be a trader. I am my own edge. That distinction is life-altering I think. Because unlike any other skill, trading is a A++ rated game. Even if I learn how to cook a decent meal by copying succesful recipe, I will be competing with a real chefs who can spin out a succesful recipe on the fly. If I try to compete with them in their environment I will be torn to pieces. Unless - I will learn how to stop being a just cook and learn how to became the chef myself.
Here comes the real trouble and why the psychology is so crucial, and why only the most insane ones will come out in the end with a massive accounts that they can grow many times over. I use the word "insane" in somewhat loose sense here. Because as just like the technical edge in the market must be molded, teared apart, judged and improved until profitable, ME, myself, as the real trading edge must be molded, teared apart, judged and improved until profitable too.
And this is painful. Nobody wants to experience pain. It's hard, because I need to look into places my own mind is trying to shelter me from. Who the hell does that? It's nerve wracking, because sometimes I need to tear apart from myself habits and opinions that don't bring any value, and sometimes I need to force myself to learn new habits and opinions and make myself actually adopt them. I need to be mature and experienced enough to know the difference between useful and rubbish. I must be sometimes psychopatic even enough to actually do that.
That's why I used the phrase the "most insane ones" - because the most insane ones in this game already did it. They are the people I will be competing with.
The more I am broken as a person, the more flaws, immaturity and blind spots I have, the farther I am from being profitable, and the harder and longer it will take to remove the useless and replace it with something useful. Because until I have a positive personal expectancy, I can't operate a trading system with positive expectancy. I am just not good enough driver yet. If I can't drive a scooter, trying to race with formula will kill me.
Just a few days ago I tried some of the things PeterCaleb suggested. "Write physically the flowcharts of your habits, your thoughts, processes on the paper. Replace 'why' with 'why not'." Although I did it walking, fixating one spot on the wall, talking aloud and waving my arms in the air as I moved imaginary words on an imaginery mind pinboard like a true lunatic.
"Ok. Everytime I am asked to provide a solution, there will always be some unintented shock reaction. I will always be stunned a little. Then I usually do one of the three things. First - I will try to come up with a solution on my own. This solution never works as intented. Then I try to search for more information, and then I discard the solution altogether and do nothing. Second - I will search for a solution elsewhere and then implement it. Usually works good.Third - I already know a working solution, so I implement it immediately and look like a genius, which will bring me a little sting of shame. So.. what is my conclusion of that? I think I can't think of a working solution on my own. This is my major weakness. However, I am really good at taking other people's solution and quickly recognizing, if they will be useful or not. That is my major strength. Ok, I must write this information down immediately and start using it as a knowledge from this point onward."
It was exhausting. It hurt. It took just few minutes, but after that, most of my mental capacity was dome for. But - I discovered one major weakness, one major strength and one repeatable process to spot another ones anytime I want.
It spawned many questions, and answering any of them will spawn another ones. But answering them one by one truthfully and honestly will bring me closer to being a trader, doesn't matter how painful or uncomfortable they can be. Because they reveals what is not working and what needs to be removed, changed or bypassed, and what is working good and can be relied upon in the future.
But this is just one little technique in the sea of personal growth and it is not enough. Where the damage is large, duct tape isn't sufficient. So what are the things I can use? What processes I can use to get real results? What I can and actually must do?
I will try to formulate here as much practical knowledge as I can. If you want to join this quest, be my guest.
(to be continued)