Nearly there, after 2 years of starting all over again and maybe 1 of those years to accept and fully come to terms with the fact that everything I had DONE, LEARNED, and SACRIFICED in the past 5-6 years was a COMPLETE waste of time... I am proud to sit here with this curve still making the same old mistakes but now more ready to confront and deal with them.
No longer looking to get rich by Christmas but simply grow surely. As first a human being and then a trader. A near bankruptcy, heart break, manic depression, drinking problems, unemployment, phew so much can happen in just 2 years..
I am proud to be sitting here today with this Dog that looks like a couple of rocks with penises that mum will proudly stick on the fridge. This curve won't mean much to any but only I know the true meaning of it. This was 43 rounds with the market. The real market, all individual trades/ decisions and I fked up a lot of them.
I laughed when my mentor said it would take 2 years.. No not me, I will get it tonight and if not tonight by next month... f idiot. Of course these results are not representative % wise of results when I put more money in but still learning,still testing still practicing with peanuts until I meet the conditions that were first laid out to me so long ago now, conditions I failed to obey and nearly paid with my life. In many ways I did
But I truly see it now, many things to work on and fix but I'm ready kid, thank you so much you know who you are
Nearly there, after 2 years of starting all over again and maybe 1 of those years to accept and fully come to terms with the fact that everything I had DONE, LEARNED, and SACRIFICED in the past 5-6 years was a COMPLETE waste of time... I am proud to sit here with this curve still making the same old mistakes but now more ready to confront and deal with them. No longer looking to get rich by Christmas but simply grow surely. As first a human being and then a trader. A near bankruptcy, heart break, manic depression, drinking problems, unemployment,...
Ignored
Awesome results in a short period of time.
Congratulations XXX
i cant sleep, i see a million doors open all at once, my mind races i cant chill... so i have a drink, just one. I go to that place thats been with me all the way through this crazy trading thing, your forum.
I play a song, i make a post ... I log out, “leave it at that man” i say to myself, I log out, well done.
I feel so good, finally you know?... then a million rooms filled with things suddenly appear from the darkness, it’s f happening!
I have another drink, I’m floating a 10 year weight is lifted from my shoulders... theres no gravity anymore, i can do anything. Everyone was wrong! I have another drink... nothing matters anymore, rules bend. Another drink, more music
Im now insanely happy, i log back in to the only place that could possibly understand (your forum). I join the discussion, but not as me anymore, I’m someone else, I’ve earned this, god knows I’ve earned it.
The power goes to my head, it starts off innocently enough, i start interacting with people, i need someone, someone to understand.
But they never seem to understand, someone always has to say the wrong thing, the wrong way, they dont get it... i will make them get it...
Im 6 drinks in now, i have to work tomorrow and its 1am, none of that maters, this is my moment, I’m enjoying it...
and it just escalates from there, at this point there is not enough cigarettes and alcohol in my possession that will get me to where i need to go. I pass out at some point, I’m laughing, i ask myself, do you think you went a bit far there? No way man that was funny, f them
I wake up, “wtf, not again, delete delete delete, there’s no erasing it, it’s there. I did it again... work is tough, really tough, i struggle through the day and all that keeps me going is to know at some point it will end and i can get the sleep i need...
I finish work, i sleep, i need to get to london session, i cant let last nights exploits ruin my plan as well as my character..
I’m smoked before i begin, i no longer feel worthy, i see my trades but i don’t take those, i take other ones, i lose my money. Reality hits me in the face... i knew this would happen I’ve seen it 100 times before, its that same old cycle. But the damage is done now i no longer care, i take the punt, i lose more
this is what losing is ... in this moment i realize this is what i am
