Unfortunately for you, you're not helping yourself by doing so. Attitude is altitude - unless you change the way you think and act, there's little hope for you in this business.
If any figure larger than three digits makes you dizzy, you should consider redirecting your efforts away from trading... if you trade at all, that is.
And if you want any serious trader here to respect your words, you have to show the world something more than hypothetical vertical lines on your charts.
Good luck.
mind over matter